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It's at this point that I'm starting to understand what people mean when they say a tattoo lasts forever.
When I look at my body and see only what used to be but is no longer there. 
When I am constantly reminded of some of my hardest moments.
At the time I thought they would be reminders of what I overcame- but today they feel like reminders of pain.
They feel like I'm telling the world of a moment I feel stuck in, they feel like a scream for help that was ignored. They feel like a part of my life that I can't stop carrying.

I feel trapped by who I was in that moment.
he's just so cuUuUuUute!
AH!!!
now my belly will ache in the name of poor self regulation.
you won't question it until the 34th hour.
cause that's all you ever noticed. 
telling you i'm not doing well wasn't enough.
it always took a hunger strike to earn your attention.
one day i will be above this all.
one day i won't yearn for your concern at all.
i wanna stack my pennies up so high and mighty.
so no one can dare peer over the wall that surrounds
me and my castle.

i wait and wait for the perfect moment.
the perfect moment where i'm not afraid of the
tight rope and mask snapping.
i know ma and pa couldn't save me from this.
they couldn't before, they wouldn't ever now.

 this burden grows as does my bitterness.
late at night i wonder who i'd be if i received
all of their love.
who would i be if i even just felt seen.

i want to own my land but i'd have to stack paper
over the graves of my sanity and dignity to do that.

i yearn to meet the version of myself who is well rested
and well adjusted. the version of myself who has
grown beyond this childish feeling of inadequacy.

 

Sometimes the good things fall apart,
So the better things can fall together
"Reach For The Stars And Never Let Go."
                                               ~derekajames
Are you saying that the Palestinian resistance is terrorist? Yes, I agree with you, and I am also a terrorist. Our presence has terrorized Israel and those who stand with falsehood, murder, and the theft of lands. When Bassem Youssef told Pier Morgan that Hamas is a terrorist, this is exactly what he meant 😉 Peace be upon the honorable and humanitarian people

And yeah, I let you use me
from the day that we first met

And I knew that you turned it on
for everyone you've met
But I don't regret Falling for you 

 
Death or homeland. Guevara
My love, victory is coming. Oh sweetheart, we will not leave you to a usurping enemy. Oh my love, we will fill you with our blood. Oh land of olives, your strong trees taught us perseverance. I will be an olive tree in the ground with very strong roots that will never leave. Oh my love, your air gives back to the soul and life. My love, I will not betray you, and I'll never love anyone more than you. Oh my love, you gave birth to Christ who said: Blessed are I and the land in which I was born
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