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this is where my mind goes when the water ain't too rough.
the reason you wanted, i'm sorry i couldn't give you that.
it's not just the difficulty of breathing in that thick air.
it's the way that i wanted the work day to end but hated being home.
how i couldn't answer phone calls incase a voice was raised.
i hate that money makes you want to speak to me more than my sombre mood ever could.
i hate that our conversations always became about another sibling.
i'm just a crumbled tissue in your back pocket.
it's always been like that.
it doesn't matter how hard i try or how much i try to bear.
 
I hope that what you did was worth it because you will never hear from me again
Aliens that are shown on TV programs are myths and do not exist. But jinn (like goblins) live in space and on earth. We as humans do not see them, but animals see these beings, such as donkeys and roosters.
i'm sorry i can't provide comfort,
but it was always like that for me.
i don't want to pretend anymore,
like i don't deserve better.
it's not fair.
i can cry too.
never been.
never was.
feeling empty just because,
you'll never accept all of me.
i tried to mother me for both of us.
the mum shaped hole is still here.
i can't parent myself, i'm too old for this.
my insecurities are words you have said.
my inner critic is also partly you and dad.
i'm sorry i'm moody. i thought i had forgiven you both.
especially these days it feels like a fresh wound.
forgive me, but i can't bring myself to smile.
Learn to recognize those who are thin-skinned. And even more importantly, those who are thick-exoskeletoned.
I am still immersed in my thoughts of what happened after my visit to the psychiatric hospital. When we entered the acute care unit, one of the patients -called H- said, with sadness in his eyes mixed with willpower and hope: Why don't you enter, we are not crazy, we will not kill you. I did not look upon him or any of the patients with pity as my colleagues did. We talked with all the patients , some of them admitted that they were sick, and some of them denied. However, the young H said: I am mentally ill, not crazy, I used to suffer from schizophrenia and now I am bipolar, I was studying engineering, but I did not finish my studies because of the disease. We left the section he was in, he kept looking through the glass and his eyes tried to resist sadness with courage, but his eyes deceived him. Yesterday 18.03.2023
"My heart is upon you because of the temptation in your hands that took me from you and did not return me to you"
why do i even try
If I had a name like ... .- -- ..- . .-.. / -- --- .-. ... . I'd probably invent Morse code too.
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