Millions of Funny Jokes, Status Messages, and Thoughtful Quotes

New to Witty Profiles?

We are a family of 399,334 people who write funny jokes, bad puns, short stories, and love letters. Express yourself without being judged and make new friends.

Join Us

Already a member? Sign in.



 forget password?
self talk.
been very busy lately, have a class in an hour. 2 tests one after the other. presentations and assignments due soon too. dentist tomorrow, a few hours after the first test. a few hours before another test. busy. busy studying and spending time with family, it's been nice but draining. have holidays coming up soon. still have studying to do but won't need to leave the house for any commitments other than that. i like myself when i'm friendly and working hard. i'm very quiet and awkward sometimes. i dont know if i can fix it at this point. it's never too late. i'm going to be more engaged today. ok. back to studying for now.
is anyone still on witty?
love is not everything 
I can live without love
the problem will be if love chase you

 
الحب ليس كل شيء أستطيع العيش بدون حب ستكون المشكلة إذا كان الحب يطاردك
It’s pretty sad you can’t even go to a car wash without being sexually harassed by a random man. I’m cleaning out my car and a guy pulls up and says “are you married?” I answered no.. and this man says “keep doin what you’re doin then hun, I’ll watch you”. I said “excuse me? I am happily in a relationship though and you can leave now”. So he smirks and pulls away. HOW SICKENING. This is why females are scared to go out alone, because there are GROWN "men" like this who think saying those things to a female, especially a female they do not know, is okay. It’s not, it’s disgusting and rude. So sick to my stomach. 🤢
My daughter says she wants to smash the patriarchy. 

I told her "When you're 21, buy me a bottle of Tanqueray – you'll have the patriarchy smashed in an hour."
Diseases have names.  Cures are anonymous.
I can't handle the truth?  That's not what the truth said last night.

You were born of the stars, dear girl; stop settling for the dust they leave behind.

So I go to McDonald's since I'm sick and don't feel like cooking, and order a big mac meal and head home. I get home and to my amazement there's no burger...on my burger. Initially I wanted to be upset, as a paying customer, and blame whoever it is that made the sandwich for such a stupid silly mistake. However, as someone who has worked in the service industry for a long time I couldn't help but to laugh. It really made me reflect on some of my worst days where I've made silly mistakes and had to stand silently while getting screamed at by some angry middle aged Karen lady about how stupid and uneducated I must be. I headed back to McDonalds to show them and get a corrected one and we all had a great laugh about it. I was happy to laugh with the staff and wait for a fresh one. We, as humans, all make mistakes and no matter how stupid or silly it may seem, it happens! Not every situation involving simple mistakes needs to be hostile or make the individual feel belittled. We have all forgotten to put the Big mac on the Big mac at some point. Be kind❤
My school senior will be in 2020 , then i`ll go to university  
I`ll forget everythig
my friends 
TV
internet
wittyprofiles
just i`ll study
People You Might Like
  • Dudu*
  • nicole🌹*
  • Steve
  • dontsellyourselfshort
  • requiem
  • strawberriezz
  • *Freedom*
Newest Wittians
  • alyssa_johnson
  • ladoh7we
  • Madidor2413
  • Madidor
  • Bdspivey65
  • CONEJA74
  • CONEJA