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in a slightly desperate way i want to get out of here. just for today, i don't want to be me. today i'm not a type A, stressed out workaholic. i'll call you over to play with me. let's pretend we have no commitments today. let's walk, drive around. just play with me. we'll be unreachable. holding hands, doing couple things. let's play around as time flows by. don't let me come back to my senses, when i say it's time to head back; make me stay an extra hour. i won't answer calls, i won't even look at my phone. let's just play.
The honey stings, but the bee tastes sweet.
The phrase 'any number of people' also applies for quantities ≤ 0.
If I knew then what I know now, by now I probably wouldn't know it.
Unconditional love. Support. Stability. Affection. Understanding. Protection. Comfort. That was everything she gave you without asking you to reciprocate in the same way. You see, she thought that things like that should be as normal as breathing, that she wasn’t supposed to beg for love. But she had. She had to beg for your love and attention like it was something that is hard to give. Maybe it was hard for you since you never loved her the way she loved you. So, don’t try to win her back now when she is happy with someone else. Don’t you dare mess up her plans for real love. You know that she deserves a better man than you and that you can’t give her what she craved all the time. So, now that you lost her, let her be happy with someone who will love her the way she deserves to be loved. Let her be happy with a man who won’t make her question if she is good enough or worthy enough. Don’t you see that sparkle in her eyes when she looks at him? You know, she used to look at your eyes in the same way. And she would probably have continued doing that if you didn’t blow up every chance to be happy with her. So, don’t blame her for giving up on you because that doesn’t make her weak. That just means she was too strong for too long. That just means she was feeling with all her heart but it got broken in the end. And if you see her in the street with someone else, don’t ruin her day because only one look at you will make her feel sad. She will immediately remember all the things she had to put up with just to be with you. And her hopes to be happy in love will sink like an old boat. She will realize that she still loves you but that walking away was easier than staying with you and hurting. She knows that you were just one toxic man in her life who didn’t give her the love she deserved. Heck, you didn’t give her anything but tears and agony. That was all she knew about when she was with you. And she just wanted to love you. She wanted you to be the man with whom she will grow old, her soulmate, her human diary and her better half. She just wanted you to fight for her, but you couldn’t even do that. And being the only one trying for so long time just helped her to give up on you. Because she wanted you to choose her every day or leave. And we all know what you did. You gave up on her so easily; you didn’t even want to fight for her. You didn’t even want to do that to make her yours one more time. That was how little she meant to you. And she wanted you to show her that you love her in the simplest way that exists. She just wanted you to steal one kiss from her while nobody is watching. She wanted you to take her hand when she was afraid to do something she didn’t like. She wanted you to tell her that she was strong enough and that she can do anything she plans. But that was too much for her to ask, right? Because at every attempt of hers to kiss you, you would offer her your cheek instead of your lips. At every attempt of hers to take your hand because she was afraid, you would tell her that she should confront her fears, taking your hand away from her. With every hope that she will get the comforting words from you that she needed so much, you just told her that she shouldn’t even try to do something new because it will be a failure. That’s how much you believed in her, in the woman who would move mountains for you, for the one who always put you first trying to satisfy your needs instead of hers. She admired you for such a long time but now she admires another man. You disappointed her and she doesn’t think that you are as awesome as she thought before. Now, she just wants to be as far as she can from you. Because if you come close, she might not resist. She might give herself all in like she did before. And you know that you won’t be able to reciprocate any of it. You know that you will never give her the love she gave you and that you will never be crazily in love with her. So, this time, I am begging you to just give up on her. Let her be happy with someone who will know how to cherish her. Let her experience true love because thats what she deserves and nothing less than that..
it was said in a simple way;
when you're sad cry.
- like when you're happy and you can't help but laugh.
in the same way, when you're sad and it can't be helped, thoughtlessly wtih no restraint just as easily as you once laughed, you can cry too.
holding back a laugh never made the situation less funny anyways.
Last night,
with the snow
f
 a
  l
   l
    i
     n
       g,
so light,
I dreamt of you
as dancing bones,
in a pretty blue dress.


I Looove The Night
The Day Time Is Ok And The Sun Can Be Fun
But I Live To See Those Rays Die.


Blue Oyster Cult-I Love The Night


kiss me like the world is gonna disappear
 

i like being alive. well i don't like like it but i'm doing it at least. it comes in waves. my feelings and thoughts they change like anyone elses. for a while i held myself up to an impossible standard. i didn't let myself cry. that changed when i couldn't go one day without crying. protip; if ur sad, just cry. you sleep a little better too. when my world was ending i thought i was so rational. i remember thinking to myself; everyday of your life is going to be this bad so what's the point. it's scary how level headed i thought i was. because it did make sense at the time. then every new day was as bad as the last. and even when i had an alright day -- it was just that, it was never good. it was just alright. the alright days were rare and i didn't see the point of living through the worst days just to feel alright. i'm better now. i'll probably have another slump soon, that's just how i am. but at least i know now. i can't trick myself into thinking i know how my life will be. if it's gonna be a long depressing life then i'll just have to wait and see how depressing that ish can get. i can't know for sure. just gotta do it. a soul was breathed into me, it's still breathing. this heart is still beating. i can't give up even one second before it does (otherwise that would be super depressing).
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