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๐“˜๐“ฏ ๐“ผ๐“ธ๐“ถ๐“ฎ๐“ธ๐“ท๐“ฎ ๐“ฌ๐“ช๐“ท ๐”€๐“ช๐“ต๐“ด ๐“ช๐”€๐“ช๐”‚
๐“ฏ๐“ป๐“ธ๐“ถ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ, ๐“ต๐“ฎ๐“ฝ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ถ ๐”€๐“ช๐“ต๐“ด.
 

how i wish i could tell you my everything.
how i wish you could accept my everything.
miraculously you'll take my side.
you'll understand my words clearly,
you'll apologise sincerely.
you'll give me a motherly hug.
from then you would try to not repeat the same mistakes.

it's not too much to ask for.
but for you it's simply impossible.
and for that reason,
i am perpetually wounded
with a mum shaped hole in my chest that you can't ever fill.

 
a rant.

makes me wanna run away and crash into your arms.
makes me wanna remain hidden in a place only you'll know.

place you'll keep me safe and entertained,
no tears, no forced smiles, no suppressed thoughts.
no insecurities picked out, no comparisons drawn.

i'll be enough, my feelings will be valid.
complex emotions and heartfelt explainations won't be stifled by the crass words of "relax".

when i've seen how she can soothe others, it cuts deeper.
my experiences and opinions are a rude inconvenience.
my take on things don't matter because they need to be the way she sees it.

i need to hang around because it's what everyone else does.
i should stay a while longer, the bride hasnt changed her dress yet.
why don't i like weddings, all the girls i grew up with are here.

she wouldn't understand. if i told her they were bullies she'd make excuses for them.
how easily the excuses come when its in defence of someone other than me.






How long have I been in this storm?
so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
water's getting harder to tread with these waves crashing over my head
If I could just see you everything would be alright

If I'd see you this darkness will turn to light
 lifehouse-storm






It was winter when you left me, but it somehow felt even colder once you were gone.

 

I wasn't born yesterday. 

In fact, I'm not due 'till later this month.
The source, speaking on condition of anonymity, stated that anonymity's condition was stable.
In the interest of data security, the still small voice within has been encrypted.
Slow 
Always Slow
You do everything slow
You send it so late
You don't understand at all
Can't you just-

Be a little less selfish?
(:
Dear me,
Why are you making me feel scared
for nothing?
Why can't you understand better?
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