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i think
i'll look back and laugh
i just want to know the reason
i'll probably look back and laugh
i just want to know the reason
surely i'll look back and laugh
will the reason be because
it worked out
well ordifferently?
i want to know the reason.
i want
you to lockeyes with me+tellit tome
straight. it's okay if you
smile,but i justneed to
hear
itfrom you. otherwise this alldoesn't
matter. itwould
have all just been
another one ofthose
things.
i never want to lose you,
i never want to lose touch.
i never want to ignore you or awkwardly walk past.
i think that would break me,
so i don't like to think about it too much.
i think i understand you better than myself.
i think i love you more than anything else.
it's never been this bad.
i'm really attached this time. when anyone asks if were together i just brush it off,
but it's really
bad.
when i slip into a daydream, it's always involving you. when i see something sweet, i always share it with
you.
when i'm having trouble sleeping, i always text you. when i'm stressed out, i've found myself leaning
on you. it's really never been this
bad.
to be honest, it's really never been this
good.
i'm just anxiously anticipating the part where it goes
sour,
so i keep telling myself 'this is so bad'. because it's dangerous. if this ends, i don't
know how i'll make it without you.
i almost don't want to write this but i remind myself
this isn't for you. this is for my own release.
time and time again i gave second chances. a part of me has
completely turned away from you now.
you won't get anything more than surface level from me
anymore.
i hadn't seen this side of you for a while so i forgot how
awful you could be.
no compassion or empathy. just relentless nagging and no care to
my feelings at all.
you didn't care to think that i had been overworked.
you didn't care to think that i was holding back so i
didn't burst into tears there and then.
you never say sorry cause you never think you're wrong.
but you were wrong. the way you acted wasn't okay.
everyone else felt the tense air and told me it wasn't
right.
i hate when you act like that and expect me to treat you like
normal after. that's not fair.
it's not fair for you to have unrealistic expectations and
drain me, scold me, bother me for not reaching them.
i'm so over that attitude that you show when you feel like
enough hasn't been done.
i'm mostly hurt that i was working so many days, and each day
still worked overtime to get things done.
meanwhile you were off and didn't think at all about the hell
i'd gone through when i was alone.
you didn't think of the fact that i was physically and
mentally drained.
you were just focussing on what else needed to be done.
just nitpicking and repeating the same points over and over. no
response i gave satisfied you.
i knew you just wanted me to agree, that i was in the wrong, that
you weren't asking for much.
no. you were expecting to come back to everything being
perfect.
you were expecting a 4 man job out of 3 people.
you knew the only way that would happen was if i were to bend
myself backwards even more, stay back at work even more and bleed
myself dry even more.
i deserve an apology. not that look on your face.