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How
can
I non-chalantly
post
quotes
to you
if you
never
come
on anymore?!
▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌
♡
♡
♡
You lied just like
everyone else, and now I'm left trying
to figure out if I bother fixing it and
picking up the pieces like I always do.
I'm never enough, and I'm always second best. Just once, I'd like someone to fight for me and do what's best for me, but I guess that's too much, hey?
I'm never enough, and I'm always second best. Just once, I'd like someone to fight for me and do what's best for me, but I guess that's too much, hey?
♡
▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌
i'm the typical high
strung type. only thing not straight as an axe about me is my
posture. always slumped over a desk working. always have to be
doing something. i always need to be distracting myself. i think
i got all my gaming 'wiggles' out too early. all i did
when i was younger was play computer games. now when i want to
relax i just bindge watch and eat. even then i can't
completely zone out. i struggle with staying focussed in the
moment. at times like that i turn to you. the best distraction;
the expert at keeping me present in the moment. when i meet your
eyes, you take me there.
Q u a r a n t i n e
b r o u g h t m e b a c k .
H e l l o .
i feel
like
my whole
life
i have
been
running
forward
without
looking
back. at
some
point
a few
years
ago i
slowed
down
and just
stopped. i
slowly
started
walking
again
but
i can
never
get
to that
momentum
back again.
i want
to find
that
place
again.
blind
faith
keeping
me charging
forward.
i don't
want
to question
anything
anymore.
i want
the bliss
of not
knowing
anything
else.
i want
to put
the
blinders
back
on.
i was told onece at my friends
funeral to throw myself on her cofin and yell
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
あなたよりも一人だけ気分が悪くなることができます。
昔からのあなたです。
My memories are being reshuffled, all that's left is grey.
Was it a good childhood, were they good friendships? Did I enjoy
the life I lived? At the time, was I happy? Content at least?
Surely I was happy at some point. I can't have lived my whole
life without colour. But when I look back...I keep looking back.
All that's left is grey. Small flashes that I thought I could
forget by now, some are revisited as I try to rest. They
resurface and before I can wish it away a tear has already sunken
into my pillow. Makes me wonder if everyone lives like this. If
my tears were always this salty. If I was just supposed to keep
living like this. I keep telling myself one day at a time. One of
these days it'll get better. Each day breaks me in a new way,
but it just has to get better. God is fair. If it wasn't for
that then I couldn't breathe let alone sigh a minute
longer.
