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He treats me so differently now than before.
He doesn't feel the same anymore.
Although it's clear that I'm still in love.
But am I supposed to break my own heart?
Should I just end it now?
Or should I let him break it for me?
i'm a very insecure girl. many people know that. but when im constantly reminded of my flaws, that doesnt help. i get it. i'm not perfect. i understand i'm a mess. i'll just go cry because thats easier.

To me, beautiful music is like a comfortinhug
 
and I would rather put on a sad song with inspiring lyrics and a beautiful voice
 
than get a hug from someone
 
it is not the same
 
I know music will make me feel okay
 
But I do not let people touch or hug me
 
I feel weak
 
So I feel like when someone hugs me
 
they feel sorry for me
 
And I would just rather not
 
I am not a wounded animal
 
 
 
reflecting over the past almost year with my bf, i couldnt imagine my life any other way. he makes me so happy and i cant even formulate the right words to describe how much i love this boy. i know i may be young and only 19 but i know this kid is the one i want to spend the rest of forever with. he is a one of a kind. hes not your average teenage boy. yeah hes a giant nerd, but he is unique. he makes me smile when i'm feeling down. he cheers me up when i need to be. he spoils me. he treats me unbelievably well and i love him. even though hes the biggest nerd ever, i without a doubt love him to pieces and i wouldnt trade anything about him if i could. to have found a guy who treats me this well at such a young age is only something that happens in fairytales. but for me, my fairytale is my time spent with this boy. i want to look at my kids when im older and say i fell in love with this man going into college and it was the greatest decision i ever made. i want to be able to look back and see how much we have grown together over the years. this boy is a special one, and i want him for the rest of my life. i love you zachary john miller.
Sometimes people

do not say a lot out loud
 
but are full of so much to say
 
and think

so deeply and profoundly
 
and are filled with pain

they never speak of
 
so they write about it

when does the fire arise? where does the fire go? the same answer for you, me and tea! - s m alexander

Something about you is so dang addicting.

I have no respect for guys who don't treat women right.



Mgoal is to create life

that I don't need a vacation from.


it's crazy how much you'll tolerate for someone you care about.
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