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Last night, 

I stood up to you,
I told you how much you hurt me on a daily basis. 
I was fearless, and not afraid to walk away because the insecurity that I would never find somebody else disappeared. 
I started packing my bags, I took the money I made to support us, I called a taxi and as I was walking out the door, you were crying and begging me to stay and apologizing with promises you were going to change, but I turned my head and kept walking because this was something I've heard before. 
I got into the taxi, I didn't even wave goodbye or give it a second thought. 
I arrived at the airport on time for my departure, got on the plan with plans and hope for a new life that doesn't involve your emotional abuse and harsh words. 
I arrived in California ready to begin a new life, as you came running towards me with a gun, and just like that 

I woke up.

Boys always fantasize 
about the bad girls, 

but end up chasing
the good ones. 


Only to end up
craving the bad girl
once again,


temptation leading
into actions,

that turn into a

broken heart.   

 
One year ago,

I couldn't imagine
my life without you
Today, I fantasize about it. 
 

  Do you even notice when
I'm crying right
in front of you?


Do you even care that
you're the reason?

I love how sweet the first bite of new love tastes, the fresh breath of air you take after. The way it becomes addictive, something you can't see yourself living without.

But it seems that over time,

it becomes sour,

and after each bite

the sweetness just starts to
fade

into a bitter aftertaste

that I can no longer stomach


It's become rotten and now has to be forgotten, tossed away just as anything that has spoiled over time.

I hate you 
I love you

hate that I love you 
you want her 

you need her
and I'll never be her

You don't have to say anything. 

Your eyes tell me what

wont roll off of your lips

I don't know how to move on from here, from this. 

But maybe that's the point. Maybe I'm not supposed to move on.
How is it that you never noticed that you were slowly killing me?
What I really want to know is did you even love me at all? Or are you just waiting until she becomes available and wants you back for you to dump me and move on?
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