20boston11

and it's fine by me 

if you never leave

we can stay like this forever

oh can you tell
i haven't slept very well since the last time that we spoke?
you said,
"please understand, if i see you again,
don't even say hello."

BUT
i never planned on you changing your mind

...i hope its nice where you are

but there were christmases when you were mine                                   

you could say this isn't how i imagined my christmas eve.
no, i didn't think we'd get to spend it together. we live so far apart.
but i thought we'd be talking on the phone.
or sending each other that midnight "merry christmas :)" text.
or at least speaking. 

but i can't talk to you anymore. i will NEVER talk to you again.
christmas is my favorite time of the year and you're ruining it for me.
you created the illusion of the perfect christmas...
the perfect new year...the perfect holiday...
in my mind and then shattered it.
along with my heart.

so is this what you wanted? did you ask to be single for christmas?
cause i know i didn't. 
i asked to spend christmas with the man that i care far more about than any other guy that came before him.
the man i told all my secrets too.
the man who would spend the night cuddling with me just because i was cold.
the man who was opening me up to a world of new experiences.

we were taking on the world together.
a new year, a new us, a new life.
why create the expectations for me if you had no intention of living up to them?

so merry christmas, i guess. 
it's really all i can say at this point. 
i hope everyone has a merrier christmas than me.
because no one should feel this lonely on christmas.

it still hurts to let go, but every day i do
i'm looking for some hope that this cloud will pass through
i'm pressing rewind << 
i'm searching for when we had the skies
but it's starting to rain again

we were
[ [ p i c t u r e   p e r f e c t ] ] 
but i tore it all apart
if i pick up all the {p}{i}{e}{c}{e}{s} 
we could still be a
collage

what's the
( ( p e r f e c t   g u y ) ) 
if it's not the
perfect time?

its like i'm wearing a sign on my forehead that says

" b e   c r e e p y ,   i   l i k e   i t "