AWOL

Status:
Joined: May 22, 2013
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 360828
Gender: F
Hello for who ever is reading this here are a few things that I enjoy.

Favorite book(s): Vampire Academy Series 

Favorite movie(s): Harry Potter Series

Favorite band(s): All Time Low, All American Rejects, BoysLike Girls, Fall Out Boy, Sleeping With Sirens, Blavk Veil Brides, Mayday Parade, and a lot more I just can't think of them.

That is about it for now though.

AWOL's Favorite Quotes

"Whatever you give a woman, she will
make greater.
If you give her sp.erm, she'll give you
a baby ;
If you give her a house, she will
give you a home ;
If you give her groceries, she'll give
you a meal ;
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her
heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to
her ; so if you give her any cr.ap,
be prepared to get a ton
of sh.t. "
185 3 iLL-Legal Alien👽* iLL-Legal Alien👽*
funny

apparently this kid at our school saw a kitten before getting on the bus so he just. picked it up. and stuffed it in his hood and he had it in the hood the entire day and it just took naps and he fed it his milk during lunch and every time the cat meowed one of the other kids would like cough or sneeze or shuffle so the teacher couldnt hear it and he even let it walk around on the tables in one class and the teacher never saw it it was so precious life is amazing
300 6 happiest* happiest*
school
How to Successfully Throw A Pick-up Line
Back in a Guy's Face:
 
Boy: Where've you been all my life?
Girl: Hiding from you.

Boy: Haven't I seen you some place before?
Girl:Yes. That's why I haven't gone back there since.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man:Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You'll go to your place, and I'll go to mine.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do Not Enter.

Man: I would go to the ends of the earth for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Then you can start your journey by going through the door.

Man: How did you get to be so beautiful?
Woman: Maybe I got your share..

Man: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
Woman: OK. Get out.

Man: I think I could make you very happy.
Woman: Why? Are you leaving??

Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
 
 
143 0 epictacos epictacos
love






Me: Dad, I'm cold
Dad: Go stand in a corner
Me: Why?
Dad:
Me:
Dad: The corner is 90 degrees.







160 19 glitter162* glitter162*
funny

Okay so a guy held a door open and as I was walking I thought in my head ’ thanks mister attractive face” and then he giggled and I realized it wasN’T IN MY HEAD AND HE JUST KEPT GIGGLING LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD  
268 0 happiest* happiest*
funny
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Faces like yours belong in the zoo.
Don't be mad, Ill be there too.
Not in the cage, but laughing at you!
16 0 Rolita07* Rolita07*
funny
why do tv shows blur out the middle finger? like whats behind that? is it an umbrella? an elephant?
11 0 JustBeingMEE JustBeingMEE
funny

digatisdi:

When I was in preschool there was this really weird system of time-out where they’d put you in this giant plastic bucket with rope handles at the sides.

The rule was you couldn’t leave the bucket for ten minutes.

I was what the teachers referred to as a “difficult child” which is code for “walking entity of sass”, so I was in the time-out bucket quite a lot.

Once they put me in the bucket for thirty minutes – and I thought that was extremely unfair so I grabbed the handles and shifted my body repeatedly until the bucket and I were out the classroom, in the hallway, and through the front door. They found me in the parking lot scooting to freedom in the time-out bucket. The teachers were furious and I said,

“Hey, I never left the bucket.”

So they called my mum and told her what I did and she just said,

 “Well, he never left the bucket.”

 

 

( I saw this somewhere and thought it was brilliant, so I felt like sharing it with you guys c: )

30 2 stealmyfoodandIwillstealyourface stealmyfoodandIwillstealyourface
funny



i say “excuse me” but what i really mean is
“why the hell are you and your friends standing in the
middle of the hallway blocking everyone”

 

159 2 伤* 伤*
love

my english teacher in 9th grade used to put prompts up for daily 5 minute writing warmups and one day the prompt was just the word “hippo” and i wrote a page long story in 5 minutes about an underground russian mafia that distributed hippo feces because they discovered that it had euphoric properties similar to marijuana it was like the new opium and rich people paid big money for it but it was illegal in every country and my teacher made me read it out loud to the class
174 2 happiest* happiest*
funny