Alice731

Status:
Joined: March 7, 2009
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 69713

ABOUT ME;
i'm alice.
i'm 14
8th grade
love making quotes
haha :)..i gotts
the best of friends
(Taylorzz is my #1 bfffff :))<haha double chin!
anyway..yeahh. ask me for requests..
even though i prefer making funny quotes..
then letting u mess wit them.
but hey i can tryyy.. :-/
surveys are funnnn..haha
so you might see me doing
a lot of surveys =).
I live in NYC.
I love Twilight (so dont hate me.)
kay.
cyaa, check out my QUOTES
Aliceee <3



"Shush Girl, Shush you're lips.
Do the Hellen Keller and talk
with you're hips"






 

Vollyball #10
Softball #12
Basketball #24
Soccer #5


Peace. Love. Twilight







-Alice


 









 

Quotes by Alice731

A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together travelling through stormy conditions.

Suddenly, the pilot came running back to the passengers and announced that lightning had hit the plane, and they were going to crash in a matter of minutes. “There are only enough parachutes for four of the five of us,” he announced. “Since I’m the pilot, I get one!” After saying this, the pilot grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.

“I’m the world’s greatest athlete”, proclaimed Michael Jordon. “This world needs great athletes, so I must live.” Michael Jordon then grabbed a parachute and leaped out of the plane.

“I’m the smarest man in the world,” bragged Bill Gates. “The world needs smart men, so I must also live!” Bill Gates grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.

At this point, the Pope began to speak. “I have lived a long life compared to you, and you may take the last parachute. I will go down with the plane.”

“You don’t have to stay here!” replied the pizza delivery man, “The world’s smartest man jumped out of the plane with my backpack.”
There's this guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."
"No, it's not that. This is the worst day of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, outraged, fires me. When I leave the building, to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there but the cab had already driven away. I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife is with another man. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I'm thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison . . ."
QUESTION TO ALL PEOPLE OF WITTY
How did everyone suddenly find out how to do
picture quotes..seriously one day there were
like 3 picture quotes..now theres a picture quote every
where I look. I don't  really care if there are picture
quotes on here or not, the pictures
are always really cute, with a cute saying, so thats
why I don't care if they are on here or not, but i'm
just wondering, how and why did everyone start
doing them, like did someone finally tell everyone
how to do it, or am I just missing something?

Thanks Guys!!!

Alicee <3
bedroom survey

How many windows are in your room?                        
2

What color are your walls?     
light purple                            

Hardwood floor, tile, or carpet?                                       
hardwood

Do you get ready for the day in your room or the bathroom?                              

room

What size bed do you have?                                                 

big!

What does your comforter look like?   
It's a real pretty blue haha 

Is your room big?      
Not to brag..but its HUGE haha                                             

Is it clean?            
pretty much!                                                          

Do you have a ceilling fan?                                                    
totallyy!!

Do you have a night light?                                                  
Nopee!

Do you have the following in your room:

desk {x}
more than 3 sources of light {}
cellphone {x}
chair/dish chair {x}
book shelf {x}
dresser {x}
TV {x}
CD player/stereo {x}
bean bag chair {x }
laptop { x}
posters {x} 
paintings {}
pictures {x} 
walk in closet {x}
large mirror {x}
bed drumset { }
bathroom {x} 
clock {x}
clothes on the floor{}
box of tissues {x}
guitar {}
lava lamp { }
smoke detector { }
piano/keyboard { }
bongos { }
a bin {x}
locking door {x }
can of soda {}
bottle of  water {}
playstation or another game source { }
a blacklight { }
something about your own country { does a map count?}
medals {x}
trophies {x}
awards {x}
water polo ball { }
soccer ball {x }
softball stuff {x}
cheerleading stuff {}
school stuff {x}
college stuff { }
beach ball { x}
over 100 cds {probably! haha }
surround sound {x }
sofa { x}
flag { }
stop sign { }
caution tape { }
any type of gun { }
dog bed {}
calendar {x}
A man and his son were traveling to the bank one Saturday morning when they stopped at a corner. The little boy hearing a "Beep..Beep..Beep" and ask his dad where the sound was coming from.

His dad replied that the sound was comming from a near by dump truck that was backing up and that sound was to warn people behind it to get out of the way.

When they arrived at the bank the lines were long (as usual) and so they got into one of the lines behind a rather large lady.

All of a sudden another man's beeper started to go off and the little boy with fear in his eyes said "Look out dad she's backing up!"
Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Tiddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Tiddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as gently as he could, "I'm afraid Tiddles is dead, Lucy".

"So why are his legs sticking up in the air like that, Daddy?" asked Lucy as she fought back the tears.

At a loss for something to say the father replied, "Tiddles' legs are pointing straight up in the air so that it will be easier for Jesus to float down from heaven above and grab a leg and lift Tiddles up to heaven".

Little Lucy seemed to take her Tiddles death quite well. However, two days later when her father came home from work Lucy had tears in her eyes and said: "Mommy almost died this morning".

Fearing something terrible had happened the father shook the girl and shouted, "How do you mean Lucy? Tell Daddy!"

"Well", mumbled Lucy, "soon after you left for work this morning I saw mommy lying on the floor with her legs in the air and she was shouting, "Oh Jesus!!! I'm coming, I'm coming!!!" and if it hadn't been for the milkman holding her down she would definitely have gone, Daddy".
A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"

His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll display it to you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned. "

The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his father means. He asks his mother, "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?" His mother looks around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, "Don't tell your father, but, yes, I would."

Then he goes to his sisters room and asks her, "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?" His sister looks up and says, "Omigod! Definitely!"

The kid goes back to his father and says, "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living with a couple of whores."
A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks.

One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small.

Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks.

"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"

The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for your butt, didn't it?"

(He lived, and, with a great deal of therapy, he might walk again.)
A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway?
It's been flickering for weeks now."

He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so."

"Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right."

To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so."

"Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break."

"I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he says. "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!!!"

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours.

He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and help out. As he walks into the house, he notices the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed. "Honey, how'd this all get fixed?"

She said, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried.
Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either screw him or bake him a cake."

He said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him?"

She replied, "Hellooooo... Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?"
A neighbor of mine was bit by a stray rabid dog.
 I went to see how he was and found him
scribbling furiously on a notepad.
I told him rabies could be cured and
he didn't have to worry about writing a will.
He said, "Will, will,... WHAT WILL?
I'm making a list of people I'm gonna bite!!"