AlreadyFalling

Status: Broken
Joined: June 8, 2013
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 362524
Location: land of broken dreams </3
Gender: F
Trying not to fall when i already am.
Trying not to break when im already broke.

Quotes by AlreadyFalling

You know what im scared of?
im scared of one day not being in control so i just keep gaining and gaining and looking like i used to, 
im scared of people looking at me and all they see is fat. 
im scared i wont be able to wear the thing i like anymore.
im scared of feeling even more disgusting than i do now.

im terrified.
 
i dont care if i sound shallow, its the truth 
i wish i could just eat less, or diet like a normal person but as soon as i have even an apple its like i loose control of myself, as if my mouth has a mind of its own and i just eat  and eat and eat. 
but thats not the worst part, the worst part is after i feel so guilty and i hate myself so i go to the bathroom and when you hear the water running for ages thats me trying to take out the food i put in. but it will never be good enough because i know there is food still somewhere in there, i know i didnt get rid of it all. 
The self hate it to much for me to handle
dear parents, 
i know im fat. im trying to fix it 
im bullemic, i have an eating disorder 
and everytime you call me fat or chubby or tell me i need to eat less 
it brings me closer to just giving up and starving myself completely 
it brings you closer to opening the door and seeing your daughter dead, just a pile of bones in the corner of the room. 

think before you speak next time will ya.
omg hes so cute! 
i wish we didnt live so far apart or atleast i was allowe da boyfriend so i could go to visit him whenever :( 
it hurts

       wounds heal
 

      you cry 
      tears dry



 
nmf
what about love, 
what about our promises.
what about love, 
you took it all and left me nothing 
Broken promises hurt, 
but the one that hurts the most is 
FOREVER
oh so you're over me? 
wasnt it only a week ago you said you would love me forever? 

...guess your idea of forever is alot shorter than mine...
-you know it hurts to hear your name...
so why do i listen out for it everyday in class?
-you know it pains me to see your face...
so why do i catch myself searching for your eyes  in the playground?
-you know my stomach aches when i hear your laugh?
so why do i smile a little too?


i wish the tears would evaporate,
the pain would disintegrate,
my heart would regulate.