AlwaysSmiling95

And for once in my life I have to be like you.
I have to be selfish and I have to use people like they are barbie dolls and maybe heart one or two hearts.
At least for once I have to stop putting you on a pedestal and begin to love me more than I loved you.
I think that was the problem. I idealized you so much that I turned you in a supernatural creature to whom I wasn't enough, I loved you more than any other, including myself. But now that I realized this I can change it. It's not late, I can love me the way I should have, I can make my heart strong so when bastards like you come and go I won't feel like this.
I can do it because I think I can, and I think I can because you make me feel pain but at the same time you made me stronger.

But you can be sure that when my kids ask me who was my first love your name will be the answer...

Years from now, when my daughter asks me who my first love was, I don't want my answer to be:
'Someone of my past, someone I hadn't see in so long, someone who didn't love me enough.'

No.

I want to look over my shoulder to you remembering everything, and say:
'Someone who is like an angel, who cares and loves me so much I can't even tell you, someone who has been with me since the very begining.'
She then will look at us and understand everything.
I want to tell my little daughter all about the love of my life, and how it didn't end because of adversity, I want to tell that I hope one day she can find somone who looks at her the same way you look at me.

I decided to be honest with myself and with you. 
I loved you, but not in the same way you loved me. 
I know everything is my fault, I know that I ruined this thing we had, and I hope you know that I regreted everything I did bad.
It turned out that sometimes is harder to forget that part of past, that part of your life that once made you so happy. I said that in order to stop the pain we should let go the things that was hurting us. And I tried, I tried to let him go, and I truly thought that I was finally over him, that everythin had ended. I now see how wrong I was. 
All I hope is that you don't stay mad at me, because you saved me, because I love you. 

I hope you understand that if I'm jealous about you talking to other girls is because I care about you and I think you are important to me...

I don't wanna love if it's not you

You are the best thing that ever happened to me...

Today I'm letting you go. 
After all this time walking in circles...
We are a forbidden love, that's what you told me. A love that lives another reality, a love that you can only find in our hearts. 
Some day, maybe, we can show the world how we really feel, with no fears, no presures, and realize how things should have been.
I like to think we are an imposible love, not forbidden, because that's the only way I have to stop waiting for something to happen. And if something finally happens, then, I'll look at the mirror and tell myself I was wrong, and that true love really beats everything.
I wish you understand that everything I once did, I did it for us. 
You'll never be the strange you once were, no, in me there will always be that little feeling of jealousy everything I see you with another girl, that's because my feelings didn't change, what changed was the way I used to see you...
♥

So he kissed me today.

After all the things I did to try to get over him.

Because I waited for you. Because I refused to let you go. Because I was there, being your second choice. Because you didn't see me. Because you didn't risk anything for me. Because now that I'm with someone you realize that I exist, and all I wonder now is: Why on earth would I want to be with you, if you didn't want when I wanted?