Amburr

Status:
Joined: July 22, 2010
Last Seen: 7 years
user id: 117576
Gender: F

 

 
So, my name is Amber.

That's about all you need to know.

I have a huge obsession with cats.

I'm 17.

My birthday is March 15th.

I live in North Carolina; it sucks here.

I really have no life.

I like making people happy.(Probably because of my lack of)

I hate it when people use "your" and "you're" wrong.

And when people confuse "then" and "than" 

I'm obsessive over correct grammar lol 

I have the best boyfriend ever (Jordan ily <333)

I don't have many good friends.

My best friend is Sophie. ♥♥

I'll talk to pretty much anyone so if you need someone to talk to or just want to talk, I'm here. (:

Follow me & I'll follow back.

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Quotes by Amburr

I haven't posted in a year omg
I'm blessed with the best boyfriend ever.
I don't deserve him.
He made me get all of my blades together in a box.
We walked to a river and threw them in together.
Then he hugged me for a few minutes while I cried
and he told me how proud he was of me.
I really don't deserve him.
I love you so much, Jordan.
I don't understand the way I feel.
I feel like I don't belong here.
I don't feel like I'm meant to live past 20.
When I think about the future, I don't think of anything.
There's just nothing.
I don't plan on making it that far.
I feel so alone.
I don't know who to tell.
Even my old therapist didn't understand.
That's why I stopped going to her.
Sure, I'm on medication.
But I have to take way more than my dosage to feel a little better.
I feel numb and empty. 
I want to feel the pain again.
I just want to feel something.

 
7/12/13

What if medication can't even make me feel better anymore?
What am I supposed to do now?
I just realized I have 100 followers exactly. Aw. I love you guys.
THIS IS GOING TO BE PRETTY PERSONAL-SORRY
This is somewhat an "about me" post
I've been dealing with self harm since eighth grade-I'm a senior now. Diagnosed with major depression disorder and severe social anxiety in December 2011 and put on medication. Hospitalized for telling my mom and therapist I was afraid I would kill myself January 10th, 2012 for a week. In the hospital again January 29th, 2012 to get staples in my arm. Hospitalized again March 27th, 2012 for bringing a razor to school and cutting too deep. Had to get my arm glued at the doctor; then in a psychiatric hospital for 2 weeks. Cut too deep again July 17th, 2012 but I was too afraid to tell my parents so I superglued it shut.The last time I self harmed was October 16th, 2012. This has been the hardest time of my life. I think about hurting myself every day, even if I'm not sad. People think hurting yourself is dumb and they don't understand it. But you become addicted to the pain. I miss it a lot. I'm still on medication, and I actually feel kinda fine. But I always want to hurt myself. After all this time. I feel like the urges will never go away and I know I'll eventually give in again. Thanks if you read this. I just needed to type this to remind myself what I've been through and how strong I really am. 
 
If you don't have depression, you really can't understand what it's like.
So don't tell me to "just be happy" or "stop overreacting"
Because I feel awful beyond any lengths you could ever imagine.
i'm almost 9 months clean
but i want to cut so bad.
sorry, ignore me


I don't know when I lost my innocence.
I don't know when things got too bad to handle.
It seemed to happen so suddenly.
Maybe it was the first time I decided to hurt myself.
Maybe it was a gradual process.
I lost myself.
I miss who I used to be.
My aunt just overdosed on sleeping pills and is currently in icu.
I can't stop crying because I know how she feels.
My brother told me it was dumb to cry about it, but it's different when you've been in the same position.