AngelxAlyce

Status:
Joined: December 9, 2013
Last Seen: 1 month
user id: 376015
Gender: F
I'm invisible, and that makes me invincible. 

To me... this world is like a dark night that swallows everything.

I despise common sense. I've seen this world from every possible angle. this cruel, ridiculous, beautiful world.

Although I'm weak and full of flaws, i will never stop moving forward. no matter who I am,
no one other than myself will create my own existence. No matter what others may think
or feel, I will still move forward as myself.



Because words escape me and descriptions are hard to justify when they fall from my own fingertips,
I used quotes from my namesake to help you understand this crazy beautiful thing that has become my mind.

Quotes by AngelxAlyce

There's both pain and silence
Raging war in my mind
The pain is deep and cuts like a knife
But the silence is so much worse
In silence I feel nothing
And I wonder if I'm still there
At least the pain
Reminds me that I am alive
For now, the pain is enough
And I will take it over the silence
It's so hard to climb out of this hole I'm in.
The walls are thick and the air is thin.
You stand at the mouth, rope at your feet
and tell me this is a battle I alone must beat.
I cry out, but my voice is too weak
and the hole is too deep
So I curl up and weep
As shadows and monsters creep
Inside the hole, to where I lay
And still you stand, one thing to say
"Help yourself. It's better that way."
I know your frustration.
It is my own.
Why won't I just smile, laugh, be happy
Why must I drown in this sorrow day in and day out?
Don't I want to be saved? Don't I want to be better?
You ask me why, why won't I get better?
But it's so hard to get better when all I've ever been is
this.
I feel like I'm breaking inside
and the truth is I don't know why
People say I shouldn't be alone
That it mustn't be good for me
I should go outside, playful and happy
But I've grown so used to the shadows
And the dark. They've taken up root inside
my heart, filling my chest with death and
Decay. it's funny actually. Those people
Made me this way.
You write down the words
Get them out of your head
You try to ignore the hurt and instead
You turn towards the numbness
And cut away the pain
But what has become this
Now it's all the same.
"I waited for you. I shouldn't have.
But that's my problem. I'm always
waiting for you. For everyone. But
no one waits for me. I saty back, 
when everyone has moved on, and
wait for you to come along. Because
I don't want you to be alone. I don't 
like to be alone, so I don't want you 
to feel that way either. But you won't
wait for me. That's okay. I'm used to
being alone. Don't worry. I'll still wait
for you. I won't leave you alone."
"I wonder what would happen if you knew.
If you knew about the depression, the anxiety.
The thoughts. God, if only you could hear those
thoughts. Would you still push me aside? Would
you still find excuses, make up little lies, and
throw me away? Probably not. If you knew how
close I was, how close, you wouldn't leave me alone.
But that would be pretend, wouldn't it? You wouldn't really love me.
You would just feel guilty. I don't want you to feel guilty.
That's why I don't tell you about the thoughts. That's why I
don't tell you just how close I am. So, when I jump, don't feel guilty.
I never told you anyway."
__________•_________
There's a gap in my heart
That can't be filled.
There's a monster in my head
That won't be killed.
There's a ache in my throat
That won't go away.
There's a burning in my lungs
That wants to stay.
I keep it inside,
Save for when I sleep,
Cause when I close my eyes
The demons will creep.
__________
•_________
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I can feel it creeping.
The darkness.
I can feel it pushing against the confines of my mind.
The limits I've set up.
The boundaries I've set.
They're all crumpling down.
Down. Down. Down.
I'm drowning now.
I'm too tired to fight.
It's so dark.
Just let me sleep.

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