Aria_98

Status: Just waiting for summer
Joined: May 29, 2015
Last Seen: 2 weeks
user id: 391443
Gender: F

Quotes by Aria_98

but she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
I honestly don't know how much longer I can handle this.... 
You were my glass of champange, but I drink vodka now. 
Trying to keep in mind that none of these problems and none of these people will matter in two months. 
I find it hilarious when you try to throw her in my face, almost like you think you still mean something to me? 
It's amazing to once again be able to look back on our good memories and smile instead of cry. I'm finally 100 percent over you. 
When you walked away, you thought you'd won. You thought you'd won because she loved you more than you loved her. And that just wasn't enough for you. When you walked away that last time--sent that last text--had that last call--you thought you'd had the last word. The best argument. You were content because you were right--and she wasn't--and it ended, just like you knew it would. And so when you imagine her now, she's still crying by the phone. Loving you. Wishing you'd call. Thinking you're the best and only person she can ever be with. You see her in that puddle of self-doubt that you worked so hard to build into her. Well, stop. And let me clarify a few things for you. First of all, she's not there, waiting by the phone. She no longer thinks about all those good times you had, wondering if you're ever going to come back. Actually, she hardly thinks of you at all. When you stopped loving her, something happened to her. Something huge. That's actually the one--one--thing she credits you with. You taught her to love herself enough to know when someone wasn't loving her enough. And that is exactly what she needed. To finally, finally start loving herself. So hey, you didn't break her, darling. She wouldn't give you that power. That girl loved you in a way that you're never going to find again but are always going to look for. And trust me, you will look for it. But as for her? She's not the same girl she was. She is strong and independent and confident. She is open and loving and free. So when you think of her (and I know you will), just know this: you never broke her. The only thing you did was push her to the edge. Like, right to the edge. But she didn't jump, darling. She flew. 
You ask me why I've become so cold hearted but it was you. You made me this way.
Remove the old texts from your phone, the messages that gave you hope, that made you believe that the two of you could be something. Delete them all. Don't give yourself the opportunity to search for meaning. Maybe at one time these messages would signify a future, but now they are simply the past. Let them be so. Delete those texts. 
And then erase the tough texts, too, the ones where he took too long to reply, the ones where he told you he wasn't looking for anything serious. Get rid of the texts that confirmed your worst fears: he was not invested in you and never would be. You got the information you needed. No need to keep opening the wounds. Erase the texts. It's okay.
And now scroll to his name one last time. And almost send him a message. Draft out a declaration saying you still want to be friends, even though you both know that's not true. Lace together these beautiful lies stitched with hope and good intentions, and hover your thumb above "Send". But instead, backspace it all. 
And then delete his number.
Stare at your phone for a minute to let it sink in that you won't be reaching out to him on your toughest nights and that he won't be the one to comfort you. You won't get to hear how his mom is doing, you won't get to see him on New Years Eve. Let it all sink in that his name is no longer going to pop up on your screen when he gets home from school.
He is no longer a part of your life and you are no longer a part of his. And this is okay. You are okay. 
Now put your phone down. Walk away from it all for a while. Feel the distinct mixture of sadness and freedom pumping through your veins, the feeling that only comes with the end of something painful and the begining of something more. Be proud- you deleted his number, which is one step closer to removing him from your heart.