When someone walks slower than me: omfg
your slow butt is clogging up the hallway come on put some step in
your pep grandma
When someone walks faster than me: jesus
christ are you on the run from the police this isn't a race you
can tone i t down usain bolt
When someone walks at the same pace as
me: who
gave you creeper permission to walk with me get the heck away
before I call the cops