AsianSwagger

I'm so mad right now ! I don't care what y'all think , I'm gonna vent . I thought I was over him , but i guess I'm not . He was my EVERYTHING when we were together . My best friend & my boyfriend . He was my first love . I did everything wit him . I truly believe I loved him , yes in the relationship I messed up A LOT & he took me back after everything I did . But then one day he just got tired of it . Right when I thought I had everything , I lost it all . I missed him so much all day  & everyday . Looking back , I wasn't ready for that relationship & now I feel like I am , but it won't happen . It's been almost 11 months since the break up & he's still the first on my mind when I wake up & the last when I go to sleep . Every night before I sleep , I imagine him by my side & I know I should move on but that's easier said than done . I still sleep with his jacket & I still have our pictures in my phone . I learned to accept the fact that some things won't be how they used to but IDK ! I don't know why I feel this way ! It's been a long time already & I'm so mad at myself for caring & getting upset ove it , he's moved on 3 or 4 times already & I still haven't yet . I just feel like crying now & that noone understands .
:(