AubreeMae
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Joined: March 26, 2013
Last Seen: 9 years
user id: 354470
Gender: F
Joined: March 26, 2013
Last Seen: 9 years
user id: 354470
Gender: F
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59 Followers
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131 Favorites
11 Following
59 Followers
14 Comment Points
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A picture of Caleb and I, holding our daughter for the first time.
This little girl , Kenley Micah Sager, was just 7 months old when her father passed away from heart failure. Today, I watched my little girl walk all on her own, listened to her say "I love you mommy", and just all together experience the love that's growing each and every day. The last year a roller coaster ride of growth, change, grief, and new beginnings. These precious moments steal my breath and slow down time. These days remind me of all the blessings I live for and all the pain I've lived with. My family and Caleb's family joined me in tears as they have embraced her and helped her grow through challenges no child should ever have to face. Today is bitter sweet for a mom like me. My perspective has shown me the beauty in this moment. My past has given me the knowledge that nothing in this life is guaranteed and at any moment our lives can change forever.
This photo was taken a year after Kenley's father passed away in 2013. Time has flown and yet it has seemingly stood still. This was supposed to be a family shoot, arranged before Caleb was hospitalized, and while I couldn't bear to be in the photos and see us as a family of 2 - I wanted the photo of my baby just the same. Tonight, as we get ready to face another year, here is what I think her father would want her to know. He would want her to know she is loved deeply, and cherished above all these. He would want her to live this life as fully and happily as possible. He would want her to have every adventure, climb tall mountains, see the world, and embrace the chaos that surrounds her. He would want her to do her best, play sports, listen to music, and learn with passion. He would want her to feel the sun on her face in the summer and the cool mountain air in the winter. He would never want to see her settle for less and always strive for me. He would never want her to fear death but instead fear a life not lived. Above all else he would simply want her to *live in the moment* because that is how he lived his life till the very last breath. He can't tell her these things so I take the time each day to show them what he dreamed of for her life. My gift to her is a lifetime of wishes from her father fulfilled in a way that shows her who he was. His love, his life, his legacy - growing beautifully right before my eyes. He sees it all - I have faith that he does.
From the depths of my soul I live for this little girl. She is the air I breath and the reason I have chosen to live my life the way I do. I won't show her that life ended on March 17th, 2013 because for her and I, it didn't. For the two of us it is a tragic day that will forever shape our world but we are left here on this earth to do more work. We are left here for whatever reason to live in the moment and make a difference if only in a small way. While we are here, I will raise her, shape her, explore with her, and LIVE with her the way Caleb wanted. I do his life, his memory, and his spirit no justice if we live any other way. So for me, it's no excuses, and absolutely no regrets.
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I'm so so sorry about what happened aww.
She sure does have the best guardian angels and she Is my pride and joy.
I couldn't have asked for anything to be any different. I'm so incredibly blessed. Thank you so much.
I hope everything for you is good!
Get back to me again if you want to talk! I'll try to get on here more, mostly at night when I have the kids tucked in and sleeping. But I'd love to get to talk to some people.
I hope all is well for you. I'm not promising I'll be on here any more than what I am lately anymore. I'm trying but it's hard when I'm constantly running around and being with my babies.
Thank you for being there and helping me through some of the times of need.
Don't forget that I love when people talk about Caleb. I love hearing memories and all the conversations anybody has ever had with him. It really helps to know what people really thought about him and to hear all the people he's touched and has made better or has helped in any way. Anything that anybody post's on here about Caleb, I show his brother and a few others because that's what they want to see too. Silence is the worst in the entire world. So please, if you ever have anything to say, a memory, a conversation, please tell me about it. I'd love to hear it.
A little over a year ago on June 16, 2012 my brother got in a car with a drunk driver after a party, the girl that was driving hit a flat bed tow truck on the passenger side and he was instantly killed. & Just like your brothers killer he didnt get justice she got 2 years and parole after ONE year!! So girl, i know somewhat of what your going through, its hard it really is. girl, we may not know eachother out of here but i feel like i have connected with you more then anyone. If you EVER need to talk ill always be here if you wanna talk outside of here my email is anastaciamarie92@gmail.com keep that beautiful head up for you & those beautiful babies!