Ayjae_26

Uh oh.. That empty feeling is back.

If you can't fly, run
If you can't run, walk
If you can't walk, crawl
It doesn't matter as long as you keep moving foward.

So hey guys, my dad died 5 days ago... not from cancer or from a tragic accident, we actually don't know what from, he just fell asleep and never woke up.

It's hard, real hard.

He was 54, 55 this year, next year is my wedding, he won't be the one walking me down the isle, he won't see me in my beautiful dress, he won't ever call me again.

The worst part is, I stopped talking to him on Saturday the 2nd of February. Because he wouldn't believe that my brother sexually abused me and he travelled to Asia without telling me and got a new family.

I didn't get to tell him that I'm finishing my education, that I have a bunch of great new friends, that I haven't self harmed for 3 months nearly, that I love him, I miss him, that all I want right now is a hug from him. I'm still waiting for some secret message to arrive that he sent me, but it won't come.

He's gone and I miss him.
I love you Daddy x