AND DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS
?
i
know this quote isn't pretty or anything, but
i'd still like you to read it. it could really
make a difference. Right now, I am 13 years old. I grew up as a
confident young girl, and I never thought words could ever hurt me.
That changed when i entered 4th grade. I was new to the school and
I didn't know anyone there. There was of course the girl that
everybody liked, and thought was soo cool. Me, being new of course she had
a new opportunity on someone to pick on. The whole year i only
befriended two people, sadly she stole one of them away from me,
leaving me only one good friend. That's only the beginning, she
had such a strong hate for me when I barely talked to her more than
twice! The next year, she spread rumors that I was a
lesbian...her goal was to make sure nobody wanted to
be my friend. Unfortunately, she reached that goal. I lived off the
rest of my elementary years feeling unwanted and hated. (which i
was) The sad part is, that I was hated for no reason. The next year
was 6th grade and I was hoping that maybe I could get a chance of a
new image with all the people around me. I no longer wanted to be
the ugly loser that everybody saw me as. Too bad, I was wrong. One
day i logged onto facebook to find comments on my pictures that I had
posted of me. A girl that I had barely spoke to wrote comments on
my pictures saying 'sick' and 'gross face'. Of
course I was hurt, so I messaged her kindly asking her to stop
writing mean things. She took this as a threat and started
messaging me non-stop horrible things, to the point where she tried
to convince me to commit suicide. Of course, it broke me, but i
tried to ignore it. Then one day during my p.e class, I was sitting on a bench
listening to instructions when a boy came up to me saying
"I'm so glad that I'm ME, and not an ugly girl with
pimples all over my face like YOU." I looked at him with hurt
in my eyes, and everyone who witnessed it just laughed as if it was
hilarious. I turned around and looked at the ground with shame. I
never realized I was ugly through the eyes of my peers. It hurt a
lot. Then 7th grade came around and i got off to a better
start..i
had good friends, and everyone who was mean to me
apoligized and were beginning to befriend me. I felt
like things were heading off to a good start, and i would have a
good year. But in my head, i would always think that people see me
as ugly. And sometimes, boys would make comments to
eachother about how i had a 'dirt face' or how
i was 'ugly' and they'd never date me. What they
didn't know is that everything goes around..it eventually got to
me, and i heard. I was broken, confused. Of course there were many
people that told me i was beautiful, and pretty, but i never
believed them. The negative comments ALWAYS overpowered the
postitive ones to me. So that's when i
broke..i couldn't take it..and
thats when i started cutting myself. I felt worthless
to anybody, and i would write letters to myself telling myself how
ugly and stupid I was. It eventually got to the point where I
thought i was a mistake to the world. It made me angry, and I felt
bad for people who had to look at me. I so strongly believed that
my face was unappealing. Thats when i started suffocating myself.
I discovered it around late April. I would get my scarf and wrap it
arund my
throat untill I fainted from lack of oxygen. I then felt
guilty, and stopped. Now I have great supporting family and
friends in my life And I'm still trying to work up my self
esteem. I'm not writing this to make you feel
bad
for me. I'm trying to tell you
that words hurt. So before you say things to people, think twice.
<3