Baseballisme

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs, but I would have made the IPhone charger a few feet longer.

Mondays seem to go by in 'microwave minutes.'

Laughing at the face on the tv when you pause it. 

Everyone needs to stop making fun of Justin Beiber. That poor girl.

It annoys me when the car windshield wipers don't get that little triangle at the bottom of the window when it rains.

I'm not stupid. I'm just to lazy to show how smart I am.

"Mommy , where did you get all those scars?"...."When I was 17, my favorite singer smoked weed so I cut myself to make him stop"

ATTENTION ALL WITTIANS.
THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.

On Steve's Witty, there's a quote on the top that you all need to see. like now.
This is what it said:

"Hey remember when Witty Profiles got in trouble for having bad words on it? It's happened again and I have 3 days to clean up the site. If your quotes have adult language, sexual language, swears, etc, please DELETE them. If the site isn't cleaned up within 3 days, advertising will be disabled and I won't be able to afford to keep Witty online anymore.'

Please please PLEASE clean your quotes and comments. None of us would want witty shut down. Spread the word, tell others to visit Steve's page, just help.

SAVE WITTY 2013

I always thought by 2013 we would have flying cars. Instead, we have blankets with sleeves.