Sick
Sitting here all alone
This house doesn't feel like home
No warmth as I feel my bones
No one to call me on the phone
Shame as I feel eyes on me
Drowning in my misery
Even when with people, I'm always alone
And I live in a house, that doesn't fee like my home
Maybe if I look down, hide my face in my hair
People will not see me, they will not stare
No matter how thin I am
I can never get free
Of the sickness
That has its sharp claws in me
Too thin, too small
Weak looking and frail
They tease, and call me vain
They can't see all my pain
They say "You think are beautiful"
So thin and so pale
No I am not beautiful
No one comforts me
I get shouted at every day
By the voice inside of me
But you are already thin, they say
What do you do this for, attention?
No, I am invisible
This is not for attention
I get overlooked so easily
I might as well be invisible
No matter how hungry I am
I always stay miserable
So writing is here
When I have all this fear
Writing is here
When nobody is here
And when nobody hears me
Writing is my expression
And if it sounds scary, then good
Because Anorexia is absolutely terrifying
I go through something, that no one ever should
It is scary and isolating
To always have to hide
When you are so used to being judged
That no one sees who you are inside
It hurts my body, it hurts my head
Being sick, being controlled
This thing wants me dead
So I have to stay alive
I have to eat
Because if I don't, this thing will win
I can't give in to defeat
Sometimes I feel I am fighting something I will never win
I would give anything to smile
Just to be happy again
All of my poems will
usually have a somber tone, and will usually revolve around eating
disorders and depression. Because Anorexia is a very misunderstood
and frightening disease, and it is something that I have to write
about in order to feel like I am not trapped in my
thoughts