BeeMYSunshine

im sick sadie. everyone knows that. but here you are, a so called a recovered cutter, and you aren't better. sure you arent slicing ur arms up like a god d*mn virgina ham, but you still think about it everynight. you wish you had the courage to do it. but instead you pretend like your alll better. bull sh*t. atleast I can admit im insane. Im sick im allowed to be insane.

I know we arent friends. you dont deserve friends at all.

Then stop talking to me. What is your deal?

why dont you care that i f*cking care. why are you so selfish.

Oh my god. Leave me alone. Youre insane. We're not friends. Stop talking to me.

im sick sadie. everyone knows that. but here you are, a so called a recovered cutter, and you aren't better. sure you arent slicing ur arms up like a god d*mn virgina ham, but you still think about it everynight. you wish you had the courage to do it. but instead you pretend like your alll better. bull sh*t. atleast I can admit im insane. Im sick im allowed to be insane.

I know we arent friends. you dont deserve friends at all.

Then stop talking to me. What is your deal?

try this story on for size, once upon a time there was a little girl,her name was abcde. she changed her hair to much for her own good. she has convinced herself that she changes her hair because she can and it looks nice to her, but thats not really why she does it. she does it because she likes the idea of looking different. she wont admit that though, she does it because she wants everyone to know that she isnt "normal" she wants someone to find her special. wants some one to care. wants everyone to pay attention to her. so one day she met this sweet girl, lets call her dylan. ya see.. dylan is so sweet at first. until she gets close with someone, then she wants nothing more but to take care of them, even though she cares so much about these people that claim they are her "friends" she is honest with them, even if they dont want to hear it. they say what is need to be said. they dont right it down in some little journal that a therapist gave them. she doesnt rip the pages out and hide them in case someone sees them. no she says it to there faces. she doesnt fake friends with anyone. but she gets them what they want and need. abcde was sad and wanted cupcakes and soup, so she brought her cupcakes and soup. she wanted to go to the mall with all her friends? she convinced abcdes mum to let her go. she wanted a cover for her book? dylan drew her up a cover for her book. you see dylan was consistent. she got abcde what she wanted and always kept abcdes best interest in mind. but you see.. abcde is just a lazy, self-indulgent little girl, who is driving herself crazy. convincing herself that something is wrong with her and that no one cares enough about her to stay by her side and make sure she is okay. even though dylan always wants to make sure abcde is okay. if abcde killed herself, dylan would off herself too. but abcde doesn't want help from dylan, but yet abcde just continues saying that no one cares about her. but the girl she completely f*cked over still cares about her. so why? why does she continue to complain that no one is there for her? maybe she likes the attention.. but im not here to put words in your mouth, so why dont you tell me abcde. why do you continue to complain?

Why are you so obsessed with me?

why dont you care that i f*cking care. why are you so selfish.

Oh my god. Leave me alone. Youre insane. We're not friends. Stop talking to me.

im sick sadie. everyone knows that. but here you are, a so called a recovered cutter, and you aren't better. sure you arent slicing ur arms up like a god d*mn virgina ham, but you still think about it everynight. you wish you had the courage to do it. but instead you pretend like your alll better. bull sh*t. atleast I can admit im insane. Im sick im allowed to be insane.

I know we arent friends. you dont deserve friends at all.

Then stop talking to me. What is your deal?

ah, so you think its okay for your bestfriend to hate you? that just makes you dumb. but if not, then why did u hate me? that makes u a hypocrite. either way your in the wrong

hey at least i'm not a hypocrite.

I can dislike whoever I want. Thats my opinion. The fact that other people dislike me, doesnt make me a hypocrite. Mkay? Bye

ah, so you think its okay for your bestfriend to hate you? that just makes you dumb. but if not, then why did u hate me? that makes u a hypocrite. either way your in the wrong

hm. sound familiar?

hm. shut the h*ll up?

hey at least i'm not a hypocrite.

I can dislike whoever I want. Thats my opinion. The fact that other people dislike me, doesnt make me a hypocrite. Mkay? Bye

ah, so you think its okay for your bestfriend to hate you? that just makes you dumb. but if not, then why did u hate me? that makes u a hypocrite. either way your in the wrong

My sister got a full scholarship in japan. and she knows ive always wanted to go to japan :( well, if u ever wanna talk. sounds like we have stuff in comment. im always a great ranting buddy.

well thanks for the support, it actually made me feel a little better.

Good :) I mean I know I don't know you but I'm sure you have a ton of potential to do whatever you want to do in life

it sucks lol. and then all ur friends, and even ur family think ur worthless and.. i just dont know what to do haha

exactly! espessically because my brother is in a fancy college on the deals list.

My sister got a full scholarship in japan. and she knows ive always wanted to go to japan :( well, if u ever wanna talk. sounds like we have stuff in comment. im always a great ranting buddy.

hi. welcome back.

id like to tell you that time fixes everything, but i have found sometimes it doesnt. venting does help though. im sure that felt really good to tell me all that. Im happy to be your personal punching bag. leave me a comment if you ever need to vent to me.. okay?

Wow thankyou so much<3 it actually was really good to get that all out ahah. You can vent to me too if you'd like :) do you have kik?

:) well it kept me from thinking about my throat for about a minute. so thank you for sharing your stupid english thing with me!

yesssssssss. <3

Sorry about that appendix part, that sucksss. but Im glad you recovered okay, Im recovering now. wooh, icecream lol

hahah :) Well think of it this way, It's over with, you don't need anymore ! I was born with an extra bone, about the size of a dime in my big toe (sounds gross) but anyways! It was deforming it :c people used to make fun of me and i hated my feet, i got 2 surgeries on my foot, i mean, my feet are still ugly, but now i have a pin in my big toe, and i can't bend it. Feels a bit weird. But it's fixed :) I can wear regular shoes now ! ^_^ The best thing about surgery, you're asleep so you don't feel that pain, and they give pain killers :) I have a problem with ingrown toenails on my toes, getting that fixed counts as surgery, they have to give me 3 shots per two to numb it and let me tell you this, that HURTS!!!! soo much! I'm a strong girl, i never cries for other surgeries but i cried for that . (the needle was about 4 inches long and the had to move it around my toe :c) So i've been through a lot, tonsils weren't much :) Get well soon!! xxoo ^-^

Well, the surgery went very well. but I dont remember a thing that happened today. I remember feeding my lizard last night and goin to sleep but thats it haha. :) my mum said i screamed and kicked and then they gave me drugs in my IV and I laughed for almost an hour straight. hahah! Thanks for your support hun!

Lol, youre welcome. I'm glad the surgery went well.

*hugs* I once had something like that happen. its hard to be bestfriends with boys. its sad and it shouldnt be like that but it is .__. thanks for your story hun. Leave a comment on my wall if you ever need anything.

*hugs right back* him and his girlfriend just broke up on Wednesday, I'm the one who is there to pick up the pieces. I've been there for him through everything. Since they broke up I'm waiting to see what will happen now. He's talking to me in little bits and pieces right now because he is like upset but it helps him. So how are you feeling? Did everything go okay with the surgery? Bet your eating a lot of ice cream and Popsicles! The one main thing I remember about getting my tonsils out was it being sore when I tried talking. Take it easy okay?! I'm here to help out or entertain you if you need it LOL!

I cant keep anything down o.O but drugs make me feel nice, so its okay. I dont remember anything from today. Thank you for the story :D

I have a very good reason to say it.

*scoots over* please bring a blanket, its cold down here.