Confession #18:
I just cut myself, and I'm ready to say why. I have terrible
self esteem. I am never told I am pretty, and no guy ever asks me
out. I have a few friends, and I have acne all over my face. I
spend hours editing my photos for facebook but no one likes them.
And even though I am funny all I want is for someone to call me
beautiful. Once, back in 6th grade I had a boyfriend for 6
months, he would never kiss me because he was gay. But at the
time I didn't know it. He came out to me and then told me it
would never work out because He didn't want to look better
than his girlfriend. Then in seventh grade I met him. Mike. I
told him I liked him and he would always listen to my problems.
Then one day he found out I cut myself and he told him dad, then
his dad told my mom and she didnt let me shave for months. Now
they call me a monkey in gym class Still. Me and Mike were never
quite as close although I wouldn't ever tell him that I still
cut myself. I was close to getting asked out a few weeks ago but
he just chickened out. Now this boy is the nicest guy ever. He
gets the door for people and then paid for my lunch one day
because he wanted me to eat, even though I went to the bathroom
to eat. I really like him as more than a friend but a
'popular' girl told me I didn't stand a chance. That
didn't help the esteem issue. I bought this Barbie chain to
wear and make me feel pretty, I don't know why I even tried.
But this girl, she came and told me I should go and take it off
because I wasnt pretty with it on and I wasnt close to Barbie
material... I just can't take much more of this. Thankyou if
you read this all <3