i know i messed up, and i hope i didnt change the way you feel. i
honestly dont know what i'm feeling in regards to the topics of
our discussions and it scares me. i'm scared of a lot of
things. please. forgive me. i'm afraid to speak my mind in fear
of losing you and that is bad. but it's true. you should accept
me with whatever i feel. but i don't think you will. so i will
keep it to myself. give into the pressure? i dont know yet. i'm
willing to do a lot of things to keep you with me, but i dont know
if that's one of them. and i'm sorry i can't make up my
mind. i need time. this is all too soon. way too soon. plus,
i'm a little bit broken and a tad messed up. not to throw that
at you or anything. stop treating me like i'm perfect. embrace
the weirdness in me. tell me that you see it. because that's
what i want. it's what i know. don't tell me i'm
perfect because i'm far from it and it only makes me feel
insecure. which is weird, i know. but hey, i'm a pretty weird
person. so it fits the part. but you wouldnt know that. i hate
this. this situation. my head says one thing and my heart says
another and it's tearing me apart. i hate myself, but you
wouldnt know that either.
how can you say you love me when i'm such a mess?