Boodah1435

Status: hoping my one dream comes true<3
Joined: November 29, 2011
Last Seen: 3 years
Birthday: May 5
user id: 244804
Location: in a small town in this big world
                  <3   1 / 3 / 1 2   <3
ABOUT ME;
Well hello there! My name is Stephanie.I'm 15 years old and I celebrate my birthday on May 5th. I'm a very complicated girl and very few people actually understand me, but I'm okay with it because one of those people is the best boyfriend I could ever have. His name is John and we've been going out for over a year now. I love him to death and he feels the same way. It couldn't get any better than this<3 My life is really making a turn for the better and it couldn't have happened without all the people who have helped me. So thank you everyone. If you want to know anything just ask, I'm always here to help people. But hey have fun stalking the page!

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Quotes by Boodah1435



 


One day everything will be easy. It'll be the way we want it to be.
Just you and me. We'll run away together and we'll be just fine.

I promise you this.








 
 

yousmile,
sometimes that is          the only thing I need  
to simply be okay. 
 
well it's been a while since i've done this, but...

happy anniversary to my amazing boyfriend.
we've been together for 2 years and 3 months now
and i wouldn't have it any other way.
i love you and i'm still counting on that always and forever.

                                                                                                                happy anniversary john<3
                                                                                                                            1/3/12<3






I do not need to know the meaning of life in general.
but I would love to know my own purpose for being here...








 








 

sometimes things happen.

and as much as you hope, you will never be
able to control everything that you want to.

parents split up, people pass away, others move on,
you scrape your knee, your heart is broken,
people come and people go.

you can't control it all.









 





 
Sometimes I could just cry for days, but other times I can cry for a little bit and then be done with it. Certain things are harder to deal with, but I always figure it out. I may not be "daddy's little girl" but I got to be for a little while and I guess that's okay too. He may not have been the best dad out there, but I'm sure that there are plenty worse out there. My dad hasn't lived with my family for almost three years now, and we seem to be doing okay but when certain things come about it get tough. Such as Father's day in June. I used to get so excited when I was in elementary school because we'd always have a store for certain holidays to buy gifts for people and that was one of them. I always had one friend that I felt bad for because never bought anything because she didn't have a dad to buy for, and I guess I'm kind of that girl now. He's still alive, but he is barely a part of my life and it's as if he is not even here anymore. He used to be my hero when I was a little girl, and I wanted to fix everything like he could. Now my hero has turned into my enemy, and I have to save myself. It's his birthday today, and yet I don't even want to wish a happy day. I feel like I am a horrible daughter for this, but I know in some ways I'm allowed to be because of what he did. I know he is my dad and I should love him and be happy I have a dad, but in some ways it's as if I don't even have a dad anymore when I can only talk about him in the past tense. I wish I could find a way to be okay with how I feel, but with every thought I find myself feeling worse and worse about how I feel. Maybe some day I can figure out the right way to feel, or atleast realize that it's okay to think the way I do. 
Look at me,
I will never pass for a perfect bride, or a perfect daughter.
Can it be, I'm not meant to play this part?
Now I see, that if I were truly to be myself.
I would break my family's heart...








 

it's that feeling of being replaced

and not being needed anymore

that really hurts the most...








 





 
My letters to those who I can not go and speak to:

Dear Great-Grandma,
        I hope you had a wonderful birthday last night. We still carried on your tradtion of having Chinese food for our special Christmas Eve dinner. Hope everything is going well for you up there. Also as a reminder, I'm always getting compliments on my middle name, so thank you for letting me have your name. Merry Christmas.

Dear Grandpa,
   Merry Christmas. We really miss you down here. This has been really hard on Mom because she misses you soo much and she just wants you to be here. I made your favorite jelly cookies for everyone and I made them just how you liked them, with raspberry jelly in the middle. I know Shadow really misses you too because none of us really spoil her like you always did, and eventhough Spyro never met you, I know he wishes he did. I know you probably know that we went and visited you yesterday, but I hope you liked the wreath we made you with the cardinal ornament in the middle. Every time I see one I know that you're there with me. I wish you could be here with us this Christmas, but I know you really still are. Merry Christmas Grandpa. I love you and miss you soo much. 


Love Always,
Stephanie




baby why'd you leave me? why'd you have to go? I was counting on forever,
 but now I'll never know...