Jlb.
You'll always
know who you are. These are things I could never say to you.
Confession #29.
That made me so sick to my stomach, and brought back so much.
I used to think the world of you. You had big things going. You
had great morals. Amazing goals.
A clear mind. You were somewhat hard to figure out, but somehow I
got close to you and I tried my hardest to be there for you any
time you needed me; in fact, I clearly remember dropping
everything every time.
You've changed so much.. So, so so much.. &I wish you
didn't. You used to trust very few people (you still do, they
just aren't the same ones.) Everything was so clear for you,
and you were such a bright child. You had the smile of an angel,
and everything any girl could ever ask for.
But somewhere along the lines, you lost yourself. I always wonder
if that's my fault.. &I'm sorry, for all the stupid
fights we had, and late night talks that ended so badly. You
started smoking weed. You started cigarettes. You messed with
other people. You were looking for "something real" in
all the wrong places. Sometimes it frustrates me, because I know
what we had, and I believed every word you ever said to me. But
it's okay, simply because it has to be. I wish I could be
your best friend again. I'd always be here for you. To be
honest, I'd stilll pick up the phone if you happened to call
for anything. I hate the way you treated me near the end, but
I've always intended on keeping my promises. Even if
you've broken all of yours. [{I just want to point out
confession #15}]
You always meant the world to me. &I knew from the moment we
met that my life would never be the same. &It hasn't. You
and I both know that. Sometimes I miss you. But then I remember
everything you've said and done, and how it's best that
we are the way we are. It hurts like hell sometimes, but I push
it away.
So much is on my mind about you, but I don't know how to say
it. For the past while, I haven't known what to say to you at
all. Either it doesn't matter, or I don't care enough to
let you know.
If you ever see this, know that I care for you, and that I'll
always be here if you need anyone to rant to or cry to. Even if
you just need a civilized conversation. I can't promise you
I'll have a bajillion tons of energy. But if it's a real
talk you need, a real talk you'll get.
You were the closest thing to perfect I've ever found in my
life. You know, before things changed. You really were my best
friend. &I lost you.
You'll find happiness, though. I know you will. Some habits
need to be dropped, but.. You have this thing about you,
you'll always go far.
What's in the past may always stay there, but the foundations
never change.
-BabyGiraffeSauce.