And for the first time in a long time
I was starting to feel really happy …
But that all ended with one phone
call. And that was the end. One simple phone call was all it took
to rip all of my happy feelings from me. And ever since then I
haven’t felt anywhere close to that happy, nor do I think I
ever will, at least not for a really long time. Unless he decides
that he still cares for me like I care for him.
But that wont ever happen. I always knew it was too good to
last. I just couldn’t believe it was happening and when I
was finally starting to believe it, he was gone. And every time I
see him in the hallways or see a picture if him or
even hear his name I just want to burst into tears. But instead I
hold back the tears and put on a smile and laugh
it off so no one knows the pain I have hidden inside. I
don’t think anyone knows that I still cry every night
before I go to bed or that I never stop thinking about him. If
anyone ever knew they would probably think I’m crazy
obsessed with him or something. But I’m not, I just
honestly do love him. And whenever anyone talks about him and his
new girlfriend I die a little inside at the thought that not only
does he not love me, but he loves someone new who I know could
never love him the way I do. Its tearing me apart, and I
don’t know what to do. Everyone thinks I’ve moved on
but the truth is I can’t let go no one knows how much
I’ve gone through with him or what I’ve done for him.
And for that to be over forever I just don’t know what to
do anymore. I just really wish I could have one more day
just one where he is all mine and he still loved me. Or if I
could just go back in time and just relive those few months where
he still liked me, but that kind of stuff only happens in dreams
so I guess im stuck here hoping for the day I learn to forget
him, or he realizes how much I really care and miss
him….