Joined: November 17, 2011
Last Seen: 14 hours
user id: 239811
I'm just me..... A girl whose trapped in the crazy world who wants to break free.. If you ever need me im here to talk.....

Quotes by ButterflyCourtney

I was going through my passwords and updating them on the new IOS 15 and I found my password for witty. SO much has changed. I have battled addiction, I have gotten diagnosed, I have spent time in a psych ward. But that little girl who was screaming for help years ago finally got it. She got saved.
It has a name, the thing that has ruined my life for years. Its called borderline personality disorder and it explains so much. Ive never been more releaved or scared
I miss you so much it hurts. 
You were murdered..... and now... now I don't know what to do.... I'm afraid. I'm afraid of going back to old habits. You were the major reason I quit using and smoking... and now I feel lost.... and it hurts... It hurts knowing your son will never know you and that your wife will raise him as a single mother.... I am angry sooo angry. But thankful for every moment you got on Earth. Thankful for everything you did and said... Thankful for knowing you and sorry that things were left unsiad.
My anxiety is at an all time high and its really uncomfortable 
I had the opportunity to go inside a jail with my school. I took it. The expericne was suppose to show us what would happen if we messed up and got into trouble and showed us what the inmates went through. Instead of scaring me, it comforted me in a sick way. I felt at home there. I could be arrested tomorrow and I wouldnt care... Is that sad or what?
if i could id take that smile and inject it directly into my blood stream. my parents warmed me about drugs in baggies sold on the street but never the ones with teeth and a heartbeat.
Yes I am 17 years old. And yes I am terrified of dogs. and NO I didn't choose to wake up one day and become absolutely terrified of them. And yes it really hurts when you make fun of me, mock me, call me names and yes film me when I am having my little freak outs. Of all people I am totally aware my fear may seem childish to you and I'm sorry. And you may be thinking but Courtney don't you have a dog? Yes my family has a dog. And yes I can be around her for the most part with no problem, but it hasn't always been this way. When we first got here I SCREAMED every time she barked (I still scream if she catches me off guard). If she jumped I ran the other way. And I couldn't be left alone with her. To this day the longest I ever ever been alone with her is 15 minutes and yes I'm aware it's not that long. And this is all I really feel comfortable with right now. I love my dog to death and if she can't help it she scares me. She melts my heart with her beautiful eyes and I'd do anything for her. But when she dose certain things she scares me. YES I know some bozo out there is like "well um you aren't really afraid of dogs if you own one" Correction people have different variations of fears. I can be around a select few of dogs and be fine but then when I'm around others I'm not so fine. I can't explain why it's just the way it is. I know some of you are asking yourself why I'm putting this out there in the internet. Well 1: If I can help someone and let them know they aren't alone then it's totally worth it. I know what it feels like to feel alone 2: IM SO SICK AND TIRED of being looked down upon and mocked and ridiculed for my fear. (Especially by certain family members) I would do ANYTHING to change it but I can't. If you have actually read all this thank you :) something pushed me over the edge today and I just needed to let it all go.
Cuanto tiempo tardara
¿O no es para todos? ¿Por qué de mí se esconderá?
¿Dónde está?
Quiero amar y sin pensar entregarlo todo
Quiero que mi corazón intercambie su lugar con el de alguien especial
Quiero despertar, te quiero encontrar y me quiero enamorar