Confessions_of_a_Witty_Girl

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Joined: March 27, 2012
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 287016
Gender: F






I got addicted to hating myself

I'm Amy. This is all very triggering, so do not continue if you would be prone to such.


I found this on tumblr and it perfectly describes me:

"Are you happy?"
Its such a difficult question to answer.
I always say yes because I have friends,
I laugh at jokes,
I have fun,
my life isn't as bad as it could be,
I don't have terrible problems, it could be worse.

But then at night at 3am,
when I'm alone and still awake,
lying in bed thinking about life, 
I find myself crying my heart out.
Suddenly I convince myself that nobody likes me,
no one will ever like me.
I feel horribe and question everything.

And I don't know if I was ever happy at all.


So then the bad part of my brain started to take over.
And I needed something sharper.
So I took the blade out of a sharpener and the cuts began to stay.
I'm sorry because of the reasons on my skin.
But I tell myself they're true and cover my legs in cuts.


And once when I was walking across the road,
I saw a car coming towards me.
I looked at it and thought of the sweet release it would give.
And I didn't have a bad part of my brain anymore,
Because the depression had taken over.
One little comment and the car racing towards me didn't frighten me,
So I walked towards the road and asked for it all to end.
And I wasn't scared to die.






 

Quotes by Confessions_of_a_Witty_Girl

 

I ran (about 50) slashes through recovery




 



Confessions_of_a_Witty_Girl


 

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vent

 

I have hundreds of reasons to cut

And none not to cut. That's why I am how I am.



 



Confessions_of_a_Witty_Girl


 

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cutting

 

Cutting calms me down.

And for a while, I'm okay. But it doesn't take it all away. But for a few hours of peace, I'd be wiling to start again.



 



Confessions_of_a_Witty_Girl


 

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vent

 

I have no reason not to cut.





 



Confessions_of_a_Witty_Girl


 

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vent

 

It is so hard.

I wish I could be more independant and just stand up for myself and stop holding on to memories and useless hope instead of something that's worth fighting for and will actually matter in 10 years.



 



Confessions_of_a_Witty_Girl


 

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confession

 

And maybe, I'll be okay



 



Confessions_of_a_Witty_Girl


 

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vent

 

"You need to eat more;

you're going to be an anorexic by the way you eat."


-my mum



 



Confessions_of_a_Witty_Girl


 

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selfharm

 

A world so hateful

some would rather die then be who they are.



 



Confessions_of_a_Witty_Girl


 

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suicide

 

They onlycheck your wrists for cuts.

Not your thighs
or your stomach
or your sides
or your upper arm

So you must be fine.



 



Confessions_of_a_Witty_Girl


 

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vent

 

I already know how this week will go:

I'll think about how much I've ate this week. I'll weigh myself then cry then make myself throw up, eat as little as I can for the next week and relapse again. &there's nothing I can do to stotp it.


 



Confessions_of_a_Witty_Girl


 

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vent