I'm Amy. This is all very triggering, so do not continue if you would be prone to such.
I found this on tumblr and it perfectly describes me:
"Are you happy?"
Its such a difficult question to answer.
I always say yes because I have friends,
I laugh at jokes,
I have fun,
my life isn't as bad as it could be,
I don't have terrible problems, it could be worse.
But then at night at 3am,
when I'm alone and still awake,
lying in bed thinking about life,
I find myself crying my heart out.
Suddenly I convince myself that nobody likes me,
no one will ever like me.
I feel horribe and question everything.
And I don't know if I was ever happy at all.
So then the bad part of my brain started to take over.
And I needed something sharper.
So I took the blade out of a sharpener and the cuts began to stay.
I'm sorry because of the reasons on my skin.
But I tell myself they're true and cover my legs in cuts.
And once when I was walking across the road,
I saw a car coming towards me.
I looked at it and thought of the sweet release it would give.
And I didn't have a bad part of my brain anymore,
Because the depression had taken over.
One little comment and the car racing towards me didn't frighten me,
So I walked towards the road and asked for it all to end.
And I wasn't scared to die.
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I have an LDR tumblog if you have tumblr you can check it out (loving-over-skype) and we can talk through that too if you want :)
LDRs are pretty difficult aren't they? :/
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What about you?
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We have a sea between us and that's like the worst thing about it really. Because you could get a train or something if there wasn't :/
Shall I give you a link or did you manage to find Fairy Tail yourself? :)
How have you been? How are things going with your boyfriend?
I really hope you're well and I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you. ♡ I didn't just forget though, promise. I did think of you. ^-^
You okay, dear?
Awh don't worry :)
How are you?<3
That's fantastic - I'm happy for you guys. ^-^ I know what you mean about conversations like that though. They're awesome. c;
I'm great! I'm fasting right now while the sun's up, which is from 1:45am to about 10pm, so it's like.. 20 hours of not eating or drinking. >.< It's exhausting. & uhhh, I've been writing a lot! I'm doing Camp NaNoWriMo (have you heard of it?) and it's stressing the f//k out of me. xD
Plus, for like the first time since I've been alive, Scotland's having a summer. Like A NICE HOT ONE.
And I'm stuck doing nothing because I'll tire myself out. *sigh* my life. -.-
I think I have heard of it when I looked it up. Wow that would be stressful. Good luck!
I live in the UK too and omfg yes I know what you mean aha. It's like well where the f//ck did that come from aha.
alsdkjlsjf i've written nothing todaaaaaaay~ :x
It's awesome but at the same time its like "what is that big yellow thing in the sky and why is it making me sweat...?"
gahrrrrrrrr
OK ok ok ok
so (because I'm introducing ALL my friends to this XD) Have you heard of Fairy Tail?
I know... it's so good because we usually get sun like 5 days out of the whole year :L But it's SO warm and like asdfghjkl we're not used to it aha & we don't have fans or anything inside so we don't boil alive aha
Mmm no, what is it?
ok
OK
do you have a problem with watching something in Japanese with English subtitles? Because if no then can I give you the link to watch it? It's a show (anime, really) adapted from the manga Fairy Tail (which is also jsdlfksjdlf amazing) and it's like really awesome and like 95% of my life so yeah just yeah.
Ahahaha that's exactly how it feels D; Have you been getting out a lot? I haven't and it sucksssss~ but at the same time my bed has been extra-comfy so it's cool. ^o^
Yea I have. I'm burnt on one side and have a tan line on my other arm aha :L
I think you should read it, all of it.
How have you been? When was the last time you cut (if it's not too bold to ask)?
It has been a horrible 3 weeks though... I used the compass last night, because I knew from experience that I would cut so much more if something really bad happened and I just had to use the blade. But it's been 3 weeks without the blade... but if you look at my quotes from those three weeks... yea... it's been awful..
It's okay lovely. You're getting there, and that's all that matters in the long run. ♡
I'll read your quotes now.
How was your day today??
Today... I almost had another panic attack. I (accidently) cut myself on something and I showed my best friend & she was like "you have so many cuts in the last week. Are you sure you're not self-harming?" I just kept talking and ignored her but I did feel the start of a panic attack coming on but I just couldn't have one there so thankfully I got myself calmed down and I was okay.
Apart from that it was good. But my boyfriend, who I depend on, is leaving for a week and I won't be able to talk to him and it'll be really had to cope..
How has your day been?
Would you be able to check out my quote? http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/6782516
And if you ever want to talk, Im here for you c:
Whatever you're going through, whatever struggles you're facing, face them with PRIDE, with CONFIDENCE. Because someday, you are going to look back to these days and proudly say "I survived that." And you will. You definitely will. You know you will, I know you will and no matter what happens, YOU WILL SURVIVE. You know why? Because YOU ARE STRONG. Don't believe me? Well, who's the one that's lived up till now? Who's the one that smiles, despite their pain? Who's the one that has the ability to feel emotions and hasn't shut them out even after going through so much? Who's the one that's going to extreme measures just to live? Who's the one that helps others, despite the fact that you desperately need help yourself? Who's the one that got out of bed this morning? Who's the one that is sitting or lying down, reading this right now instead of dying? That's right, it's none other than YOU. You, my darling, are a strong person. You will get through this, and it will someday be just a nostalgic memory. Don't you dare let yourself think otherwise, because if you do, you're lying to yourself. Iloveyou <3
You are a piece of treasure. A priceless, valuable piece of treasure. You are of VALUE. Value yourself, because something valuable should be nothing but valued. Love yourself, because something as beautiful as you should be cared for and forgiven every day, every night.
Smile, you're beautiful <3 <3 <3 xoxoxoxoxo
Most the time I don't even try to make it sound like a quote, I just write what's on my mind. But thanks<3
Can I follow you on your main account please?
Thanks! And I'm flattered that you follow me (maybe), thank you. ♡
XOXOVeronica