florals*

When I was little,
I thought Vertigo was a star sign

I didn't figure out what it actually was until I was like 7

Am I the only one
Who thought she was singing "Get your tasty scone" and not "Can't you taste this gold"

 

When you're listnening to music
and your headphones/earbuds fall off and you start to panic because you're probably going to miss like 
5 whole seconds
of whatever song you were listening to 

I just realized
that I eat in my room so much I have become some kind of expert at 
carrying like 43 different food items up to my room at the same time
Like I'll be walking down the hallway all casual holding 15 cookies 3 tacos 5 cupcakes 18 chocolate bars and the whole McDonalds menu

Me: *wakes up at 2 pm*
Me: *eats breakfast at 3 pm*
Me: *eats lunch at 8 pm*
Me: *eats dinner at 4 am*

do you see my problem here?

When you see a really nice ad while scrolling through quotes
and you're looking for the like button and then you realize it's an ad...

Friend: Wow I can't believe I got a 85 on the math test my life is over
Me: Calm down it's not that bad

- - -
Me: OMG. CALL THE POLICE THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING NO.NO.NO
Me: NOOOOOOO WHY
Me: THE FRIDGE IS EMPTY
*violin plays as I fall to the floor and burst into tears*
Friend: Calm down it's just food
Me: IT'S JUST FOOD. NONONO YOU HAVE IT ALL WRONG FOOD IS A WAY OF FCKING LIFE DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS IS SERIOUS

It's ok for me to freak out over little things but you, no stop you're messing with my calm attitude.

What my mom says: Natalie come downstairs for breakfast

What I hear: Natalie come downstairs for breakfast and then after that you can go take out the trash and wash the dishes and feed the cat and also maybe feed your little brother and then you can clean your room and vacuum the house and do a bunch of other things that involves exerting yourself physically and then you can go to the gym and do like 200 push up-jumping jack-split-backflips and then sign up for a marathon. But yeah, breakfast first.

If I ever use actual punctuation in a sentace
I'm probably either trying to impress you, or I'm just really annoyed with you

Slow Wifi
should be illegal.

But then again I'd probably be the first to get arrested