Damaged

 LONG, BUT WORTH IT <3

Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the
resident tomcat. Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating garbage,
and shall we say, love. The combination of these things combined with a life spent
outside had their effect on Ugly.

To start with, he had only one eye, and where the other should have been was a
gaping hole. He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot has appeared
to have been badly broken at one time, and had healed at an unnatural angle, making
him look like he was always turning the corner. His tail has long since been lost, leaving
only the smallest stub, which he would constantly jerk and twitch. Ugly would have been
a dark gray tabby striped-type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, even his
shoulders with thick, yellowing scabs.

Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction.  "That's
one UGLY cat!!" All the children were warned not to touch him, the
adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted him when he tried to
come in their homes, or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave.

Ugly always had the same reaction. If you turned the hose on him, he would
stand there, getting soaked until you gave up and quit. If you threw things at him,
he would curl his lanky body around feet in forgiveness. Whenever he spied children,
he would come running meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands,
begging for their love. If you ever picked him up he would immediately begin suckling
on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could find.

One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbors huskies. They did not respond
kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled. From my apartment I could hear his screams,
and I tried to rush to his aid. By the time I got to where he was laying, it was
apparent Ugly's sad life was almost at an end.

Ugly lay in a wet circle, his back legs and lower back twisted grossly out of shape,
a gaping tear in the white strip of fur that ran down his front. As I picked him up
and tried to carry him home I could hear him wheezing and gasping, and could feel
him struggling. I must be hurting him terribly I thought.

Then I felt a familiar tugging, sucking sensation on my ear - Ugly, in so much
pain, suffering and obviously dying was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled him
closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head, then he turned
his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the distinct sound of purring.
Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battled-scarred cat was asking only for a little
affection, perhaps some compassion.

At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful, loving creature I had
ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, or even try to get away
from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting in
me to relieve his pain.

Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him
for a long time afterwards, thinking about how one scarred, deformed little stray
could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit, to love
so totally and truly. Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than
a thousand books, lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will
always be thankful. He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the inside,
and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply. To give my
total to those I cared for.

Many people want to be richer, more successful, well liked, beautiful,
but for me, I will always try to be Ugly.