brooke*

"If i killed myself tonight,
the stars would still appear,
the sun would still come out,
the earth would still rotate,
the seasons would still change....so why not?"

Fu/c/k this post so much. You want to know "why not"? How about the way your best friends older sister will throw up by the side of the road because she's crying so hard. How about the way your best friend will sob for weeks in her showers, in her bedroom, in the bathroom at school. How about the way your mother will cry every time she looks at herself in the mirror and pictures herself bringing you home. How about the way your fathers eyes will never stop mirroring the image of your hanging body. How about the girl who called you a sister will start crying every time she sees your parents. How about the way your family will sit in your house after the funeral looking blankly at one another, because god knows they can't find a fu/c/k/ing thing to say that doesn't just float through the air where you should be walking. How about the way your sister will wake up every morning and see your door and convince herself that you could still be there, sleeping in your bed. How about the way your ex girlfriend will come over and pull your clothes from the drawers and cry while she holds them desperately to her face to breathe in what's left of you. Don't you dare tell me it won't change things. There may be stars in the sky and wind in the air and sun in the clouds but without you we don't want them. Don't you dare be selfish enough to believe you aren't important to us. 
So fu/c/k this post and fu/c/k the romanticism of suicide 
and fu/c/k you for leaving my sister to cry in her room where she thinks no one can hear.

Maybe the wolf is in love with the moon,

and each month it cries for a love it will never touch.

She loves her momma's lemonade,
and hates the sound that goodbyes make.
She prays one day she'll find someone to need her.
She swears that there's no difference
between the lies and the compliments.
It's all the same if everybody leaves her,
and every magazine tells her she's not good enough.
The pictures she sees make her cry.