EmOgIrLForever

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Joined: October 6, 2010
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 127683

My names Kimmie. I'm fourteen. I'v leard life the hard way so far. life is a rollar coaster for me right now. I never know what to do.Between loosing people in my life, to being confussed..nothing is always simple..but i always come up with a good way to make things better..i always tell myself..things are never hard if you help yourself out.
Get to know me? :)

Quotes by EmOgIrLForever

To stop or to keep doing it?


Ive been cutting for quite some time now.. and theres a story behind it. to make it shorter; I was abused by my mom and her boyfriend, physicaly, and mentally. I seen drug and alcohol abuse. Ive moved from place to place...
Through all of this I started cutting, smoking pot, drinking, and doing drugs..
Well i stopped everything other then cutting, and smoking pot..
Im in therapy, been there for at least 8-9 months. Things are getting better with it. I love going to therapy, and talking to someone outside the family.. My cutting has subsided, almost to the point where ive washed it out completely! Im so proud of that acomplishment.. but for smoking pot? yeahh still working on it.. Ive had these stuggles follow me for a while now, and im glad im getting help with them. Its hard to work on getting better on my own..
But.. on top of all of that..
i now have suicidal thoughts, feel the urge to cut deeper and deeper; and more often, and i have the urge to just give up all the time.
Its not like i havent had these all along, just seem to show up more often, and bother me.

And ive been thinking..Why stop cutting, and smoking pot if it helps?
i mean..if cutting helps with the stress,anxiety,pain,pressure to fit in, and take the memories of the past away..why stop? Same for pot..

I mean thats just me, anyone else with me.. im sure we have all be there when nothing works, and cutting and smoking pot is our savior... right?

let me know what you think. :** <3

3 0 EmOgIrLForever EmOgIrLForever
poems

I have many secrets. I so wish i could tell them, it just seems if i do people will think i need help or something. i dont need help, i just need someone to listen to me. and the people i trust with most things, i cant trust with other things. Can anyone help me? :(

0 5 EmOgIrLForever EmOgIrLForever
vent
Sometimes i look in the mirror and wish i could see nothing.</3
~EmOgIrLforever~
7 0 EmOgIrLForever EmOgIrLForever
vent

If not for you, I wouldn’t know
What true love really meant.
I’d never feel this inner peace;
I couldn’t be content.
If not for you, I’d never have
The pleasures of romance.
I’d miss the bliss, the craziness,
Of love’s sweet, silly dance.
If not for you, I’d be adrift;
I don’t know what I’d do;
I’d be searching for my other half,
Incomplete, if not for you.
I have to feel your tender touch;
I have to hear your voice;
No other one could take your place;
You’re it; I have no choice.

i know its not pretty but my boyfriend wrote it for me -___- <33
 

4 2 EmOgIrLForever EmOgIrLForever
love
so today i was walking down the hall when i seen this really hot boy. and i screamed we have the same shoes and ran away!! he then fallowed me and asked for my number(: i am now on the phone with him. see how that pick up works?<33
16 0 EmOgIrLForever EmOgIrLForever
funny
 
i tell a lie,
a lie that you never knew would come out of me.
you asked if i was fine..and isaid yes..
when really when you go to bed i cry and cry..
i think of being dead..and never having to deal with the pain.
i never knew how much pain i had till i started righting it down..
i stopped all my enjoyments..
i asked to be taken out of some classes.
i have not sang a single note since the last time i was with you.
i have not been alive since the pain hit.
iv tolled you a lie and i cant live with it anymore.
no i'm not a liar, but sometimes to hide the truth i have no choice..
i'm a girl with no future for you have destroyed everything iv ever wanted..
my dreams can no longer be answered..and my heart can no longer be healed..
see what you have done? yeah i cant get over this.
i think of everyday..and when i say i'm going to bed i never really an.
i find what ever i can..
and cut till i can no longer feel anything..
numb to the bone..and watch the blood flow down my body..
for what you know i never loved anybody..
iv tolled a lie, and i cant deal with it. i want to be out of this hell soo i cant see any panflits..those of witch want me to egt help..
i don't need it..for what they tell me isnt true.
i love how you cant be so cruel..
i hate the silence it screams for love..but for you to know i live with none.
my heart is broken i have no blood left..
i'm laying on the floor i think i'm done with cutting myself.
i'm gone, and i'm not coming back for what you have don't drove me off the edge..and once over it and ur falling all you can say is..
bye world for what you have left me is no use, i love how i never had to think much of how to make my self an importance..i have not been alive long to know what love is.and i have never been able to fight for something i believe in.
my heart achs from pain and i have no light to see.
why must you do this to me? thats all i can say as i drive off the edge..into a daze..and nothing is going to stop me from being so unamazied..
i love how i hear you call out my name..as though im still here..im gone now and im not coming back for you have lost ever part of me that is not here for you have lost everything.. and you will never get it back.
again i repeat im gone and iv faded away..into the darkness...
the razor that did it all is in its safe..its locked up and will never cause you pain again..
it helped mine and gave me my wish..how about we let me rest..
under the old mapple..where my dead friend lay..
a secret no one has known till this day.. a secret that haunts me day by day..and something that will never ever be replaced.
now that im gone i can now rest.. i dont have to take that test..
the test of love..and the test of pacients..i loved how i hated you for what you did..and how you drove me to the end of my craziness. i have no more and now i feel relived..i  dont have to carry anymore stress like i had to before..
and now i can finnaly rest in peace,beside my friend.under the old maple. for i love her and i can finally let her know what has been bothering me all these years..even though i have had her by my
side...i can now see why she tolled me to do this a long time ago..she slit her throat and said good bye at age 10. i haven't seen her in the longest time. it seems like just yesterday we were dancing in the rain and being silly. i miss her so. and now i can be with her...i walked over to the old oke were she lay and knelt down and kissed her grave..i whispered the words of the cutting song..the words matched our lives and we mad it up when we were just little girls..and i cry my eyes out wondering why..but i know know why..and will be with you soon. i will be next to you as soon as i finish what iv started..
i cut away and as a pray i whisper the words of the cutting song..<////3
6 0 EmOgIrLForever EmOgIrLForever
vent
you called me everyday..words mean nothing without someone to say..i miss you, i need you..

when your far away..
my tears dont fade away..
the memories are gone in the wind..
and i just want to see your face..
even though you have lied to me, and left
me confused..i still love you..
everyday i wake with you on my mind..
your the reason i do what i do..
and even though i say that im not sure weather i love
you or not,, i know i do..<33
(all mine)


11 0 EmOgIrLForever EmOgIrLForever
break up

i have a shattered heart..
because of him..
iv made a mistake..
iv tryed without you..
cryed about you..
and i promise if you come back i will make you want to stay..
</3

(all mine)

5 0 EmOgIrLForever EmOgIrLForever
break up

we took a chance..
i tolled you i was strong..
i lied..
just like you did to me..
how does it feel?
for you to sit and cry for days and days..
just like i did..
for you to wonder what we did wrong..
just like i did..
to wish we never got together so both of us would not have to deal with a broken heart..
just like i did..
how does it feel..how you know how i felt.</3
 

4 0 EmOgIrLForever EmOgIrLForever
break up

now everywhere i go and everything i see, something always reminds me of you..and what could of been..</3

5 0 EmOgIrLForever EmOgIrLForever
break up