Emily_1998

Matt Stewart is in a relationship with Emily Baillie

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Soon Emily.. Soon. ( ._. )

Just need to write out how I feel....

It's been a while since i've seen your face.
Too long for me to handle.
I see you, feel you, hear you around my room.
Almost like you're there with me,
protecting me.
That thursday night, while i was in the shower.
You came over to see my mom,
I had no idea..
After a couple days, i was up late, 12 am to be exact.
I saw my mom speed out of the drive way.
I waited, and waited... and waited for her to come home,
to ask why she left so late, so quickly, without telling anyone else.
As my mom walked through the door.

Her broken voice spoke hurtful words.
"Uncle Gary Killed Himself. He's Dead."
I cried, and cried, and i told my brother,
and my mom, and brother and i stayed up until sunrise,
and got some rest.
If only i can take that back.
If only i can show you i really cared.
How hurt your daughters , your family, your friends would be, maybe you would
be here right now..
Maybe i would end the sadness.

I just want to hug you one more time, and tell you I love you.

 

I'm  not  saying  I  want  to  kill  myself, but. . .

If a guy held a gun to my head, I would encourage him to do it.

 

Last Night, my friend Matt and I were texting,
and he said,"one smiles from you completes my day."
God I love him,
<3(;

Sometimes i like to go out into the woods, and watch the trees sways back and forth, it relieves my
Anxiety, if you know what i mean. I love nature, anything with tress forests and, adventure! Except the
Vicious animals, i don't like pain or being attacked, of course, only because i know i could NEVER, not
Even if i were dying, would i hit an animal, I love all animals . :D

My mom told me once, no matter how bad'y your'e hurt, how sad you are, there is always a way where
Everything will get better. but I'm not too sure about this one...

Please. );

You see the happy, smiley, girl who's always laughing?
She cuts her wirsts wishing for her life to end.

You see the girl who doesn't do her homework.
She thinks she won't be living to fail the grade anyways.

The awkward quiet girl.
She can't stop thinking about the millions upon millions of things happening in her life.

That girl who is abusive.
She was hurt in her past, and doesn't want to be in that position again.

All of these are based on me,
how I feel,
What people see, but don't know.

Here's my story, read it or not, I just want to be heard.
And of course express what i've been hiding.

I can't stop thinking bad, I hate my life, every little thing.
I've though about suicide, came close to attempting,
I've cut, i dug "kill me" into my arm,
I'm not afraid to wear t-shirts either.
I try to make the best out fo my life,
It's real difficult, I walk a trail alone, not because i AM alone,
but because i don't have anyone here by my side, right when i need them.
There's one person, who i wish was by my side to help me 24/7,
he lives in Misssouri which sucks because that's far from Maine, of course.
Matt is my best friend, no doubt about it .
I'm ignored CONSTANTLY.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It's like i don't know what to do anymore. );

 

Can you name 13 boys off the top of your head?

1. Shane bentley
2. Ryan nunley
3. Matt Stewart
4. Matt Wiltse
5. Matt Bouchard
6. Nathan levesque
7. Paul Carson
8. Andy Crudge
9. Giovanni Castrejon
10. Jonathan Baez Berrios
11. Jesse Thibodeau
12. Billy Blanchette
13. Derrick Hebert

How did you meet 10?
Online :D

Have you ever seen 4 cry?
nopee..

Would 11 and 2 make a good couple?
they ain't frans O:

Are you good friends with 13?
Eh, so so.

Something about 1..?
he's hot headed ); and he doesn't talk to me anymore, D'=

How did you meet 12
schoool.

Whats 7s fav color?
Probably blue,

What would you do if 6 confessed that they like you?
Be very shocked, O:

Whats the worst thing about 5?
, Uhm. nothing really .

Fact about 9?
He's awesomeness >:D

Would you ever live with 8 ?
He's cool. :D
but i don't think we'd date, or, marry, or, anyhting like htat. .. ...

Is 2 single?
Yep....

Where does 7 live?
 California,, i think ..

what do you think about 2?.
He's nice. :D Busy, ); And, makes me feel, happy. :D

Whos 11 going out with?
Mah fraaan.

What do you think about 3?
He is the most amazing, guy i have ever met. I'm not to joke around, He is everything i want in a guy,, I think about him all day, and i wish to meet him, so. flippin, bad. Plus i can live in missouri when it's winter over here. -.- Stoopeeeddd snow. -__-

But i love him :D <3