Status: i miss witty's glory days
Joined: April 10, 2013
Last Seen: 7 months
user id: 356389
Location: new jersey
Gender: F

i wrote these things when i was 14 and lonely, they are weird and cringy but i am glad they are preserved here. this is my time capsule. (04/11/20 check-in).

Quotes by hyperion*



I feel when it begins
as the tide yanks me around,
tugging me,
and the water churns,
dark and stormy,
ready to take its chance

My chest tightens
as my lungs fill with sea foam
with brilliant shades of white and pale green,
their hues choking me s l o w l y

My legs are weights
and I'm wearing cement,
and I begin sinking to the bottom of the sea,
coughing and sputtering and gasping for air

I struggle to hold onto the world
or what’s left of it –
the small sliver of light I can see,
shimmering above me

There’s nothing to grasp onto,
nothing to anchor me.
How that only makes me sink

The waves c r a s h
and so do I,
I keep drowning like there is no bottom,
simply unexplored ocean,
taking me to depths even shipwrecks have never been

that's all i'll be,
a shipwreck
torn into pieces at the bottom of the world,
right from whence i came

and If I survive
I know I’ll have to face these waters again;
I always do
it's as sure as the high and low tides,
as sure as my own
 highs and lows,

And I know the oceans will be waiting.

format credit = destabilise

I saw my heroes again last night.
Nearly an hour of traffic and an hour in line spent waiting, shaking, and I was there. It was harsh, and cramped, and I sustained a few injuries during the openers, but it was worth it. Because when they came on stage, grinning, waving, jumping up and down (okay, maybe that was just Jack,) it all paid off. Every spare dime I saved for merch, every promise I made to my mother for her to get the tickets. I'd almost forgotten how good they'd sounded live. Almost. They played one song though, never before played on a tour. I don't think I'll ever listen to it again the same way. I don't think I'll ever listen to any of their songs the same way. My ears were ringing, they were ringing when I came home, and when I feel asleep. But them, they were just so happy. I think they might have been even more excited to play the venue than the fans were to come see the show. Which really, is a bit flattering. All Time Low really loves New Jersey. Everything I wanted to come true though, did. Or almost did, I guess. I stood a few feet from my heroes. Grappling to the barrier, really. Alex looked at me, almost chose me to come on stage. I almost touched Jack's hand. And the best part? Seeing them live, it's reminding you that they are more than pictures. They are people that you can see, that you can meet. Tangible. Real. Relatable. You know, their smiles are so much brighter, so much more beautiful in person. The way the crowd flowed together, it was endless. Our energy was endless. I was endless. 
I saw my heroes again last night.
i'm seeing atl again tomorrow someone hold me
sometimes to save yourself you got to kill your mind

the flowers in my veins have withered,
and the musky smell inside my head
reminds me of my grandfather's attic,
filled with shoeboxes of photographs and heirlooms;
all of the memories and none of the warmth.
Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well
i was peer pressured into doing this so here we go:
1. What is your middle name? elizabeth
2. How old are you? nope
3. What is your birthday? may 14th
4. What is your zodiac sign? taurus
5. What is your favorite color? i like green, maroon, and pale tints a lot
6. What's your lucky number? three, usually
7. Do you have any pets? i used to, i want one though:-((
8. Where are you from? new jersey, born and raised
9. How tall are you? 5'4-5'5
10. What shoe size are you? 5-6.5 i have such small feet
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? nine or so, not that many
12. What was your last dream about? meeting all time low, no surprise there
13. What talents do you have? i guess i'm okay at drawing
14. Are you psychic in any way? i get headaches shortly before and after there are severe weather changes does that count
15. Favorite song? whoa so many
16. Favorite movie? all time low: straight to dvd, breakfast club, and probably it's kind of a funny story or perks 
17. Who would be your ideal partner? currently?? my crush he looks like tyler posey
18. Do you want children? yeah, maybe two or something
19. Do you want a church wedding? probably not
20. Are you religious? not at all
21. Have you ever been to the hospital? not since birth, strangely enough
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? no
23. Have you ever met any celebrities? sort of
24. Baths or showers? both, but more often it'll be showers
25. What color socks are you wearing? i'm not wearing socks
26. Have you ever been famous? no???
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? it'd be cool i guess
28. What type of music do you like? pop punk/punk rock mostly, but anything but rap i guess
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? nah
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? two/three
31. What position do you usually sleep in? on my side
32. How big is your house? medium/large idk
33. What do you typically have for breakfast? tea and half a bagel or a waffle
34. Have you ever fired a gun? yeah
35. Have you ever tried archery? yes and i'm actually good at it wow
36. Favorite clean word? no idea honestly
37. Favorite swear word? sh't probably
38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep? two or three days maybe
39. Do you have any scars? yeah
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? yeah it was odd
41. Are you a good liar? sometimes
42. Are you a good judge of character? yeah
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? yeah, i can do a semi-decent british accent and a russian accent
44. Do you have a strong accent? no
45. What is your favorite accent? british or australian, new zealand is cool too
46. What is your personality type? i don't know
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? uggs maybe
48. Can you curl your tongue? yesss
49. Are you an innie or an outie? innie
50. Left or right handed? right
51. Are you scared of spiders? i hate them so much
52. Favorite food? pasta omg
53. Favorite foreign food? idk sushi
54. Are you a clean or messy person? clean sometimes it depends on the area of my life
55. Most used phrased? "dude, seriously"  
56. Most used word? i curse a lot
57. How long does it take for you to get ready? like ten minutes bc i'm super lazy  
58. Do you have much of an ego? not really idk
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? i always end up chewing it up oops
60. Do you talk to yourself? when i read fanfiction omg it's horrible
61. Do you sing to yourself? yes
62. Are you a good singer? moderately
63. Biggest Fear? being ostracized, failure, public events where i'm alone, etc.
64. Are you a gossiper? not really except to my closest pals
65. Best dramatic movie you've seen? idk
66. Do you like long or short hair? it depends
67. Can you name all 50 states of America? yeah man
68. Favorite school subject? i like everything in it's own way; but probably english, history, art, or science
69. Extrovert or Introvert? forced into extroversion, occasionally (in public, that is) introverted
70. Have you ever been scuba diving? sort of??? i think it was snorkeling so no
71. What makes you nervous? EVERYTHING
72. Are you scared of the dark? sometimes
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? depends on the mistake/person
74. Are you ticklish? yes don't touch me
75. Have you ever started a rumor? nooo
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? yeah
77. Have you ever drank underage? ..
78. Have you ever done drugs? no
79. Who was your first real crush? my best friend now but when we were in kindergarten aw
80. How many piercings do you have? 2
81. Can you roll your Rs? yes
82. How fast can you type? moderately fast
83. How fast can you run? depends on prior training and conditions
84. What color is your hair? blonde
85. What color is your eyes? green/gray/i've heard yellow too???? maybe i'm a beta
86. What are you allergic to? nothing
87. Do you keep a journal? nope
88. What do your parents do? boring desk jobs in pharmaceuticals and finance
89. Do you like your age? i guess i sort of have to, but no not really
90. What makes you angry? EVERYTHING
91. Do you like your own name? no it's simple and boring and doesn't suit me
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? no it stresses me out
93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? at least one girl
94. What are you strengths? arts, academics, etc.
95. What are your weaknesses? simultanesously everything i'm also good at
96. How did you get your name? no clue
97. Were your ancestors royalty? no but it'd explain some things
98. Do you have any scars? wasn't this already a question
99. Color of your bedspread?  blue
100. Color of your room? peach-ish

doing good things,
things that make you feel whole,
can help make you happy;
but even these things
in continuity,
will begin to feel empty,
and will only crack,
like the rest of your shell. 

i'm going to france with my french class next summer and apparently we need to exchange our currency and do all our passport stuff on our own and honestly i barely know how to use a microwave i'm literally not even going to get out of the paris airport without getting arrested or dying
The first time I said his name,
It sounded like crushed glass.
I couldn’t quite make it roll off my tongue,
So in stumbling pieces it went.
The next few times I said his name, he helped.
We’d practice and practice,
Drawing it out in sharp syllables and silent consonants.
He knew we were making progress, gluing the glass together,
Bit by bit.
Bit by bit.
Over time, I got better and better at his name.
He spent less time teaching me it,
Less time telling me how he loved me saying it.
I still practiced in front of the mirror though, sometimes;
Because someday, I’d be able to say it perfectly.
And eventually,
I could say it perfectly,
Not a chip in the glass.
It was all the practice,
Whispering his name over and over into my knees on the night that he’d left me,
His name whole and still and perfect,
The rest of the world,

"Everyone is beautiful," needs to stop being the posterchild of abused phrases.

Everywhere you go, no matter what the subject matter is, or the derogatory comment said is, the responses will always be, "Don't worry, you're beautiful." "You're not fat, you're beautiful." "You're not (blank), you're (blank — usually synonymous with beautiful.)"

Can you be both? Yeah!!! (Fat is not a bad thing. It's not the worst thing you can be. Don't treat it like that.) Can you prefer to strive to feel beautiful? Absolutely. The issue is that this becomes the go-to answer for everything.

This phrase is being thrown around like everyone is a charity and beauty points will feed the hungry and clothe the poor.

News flash: they don't.

People need to realize that 'beautiful' is not the best thing you can ever amount to and that they need to stop lying to others and themselves.

Self confidence is amazing. Being able to look in the mirror and say, "I'm beautiful," is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

But, it isn't your safety net. It's okay to strive for more. This one phrase, repeated over and over by friends and loved ones will not shelter you forever. Find more in the apple core that is your life.
I don't see what's hard to understand about that.

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