After Pretty Odd Laughter*

Status: Conductor I AM THE PROBLEM!
Joined: May 22, 2013
Last Seen: 2 days
Birthday: October 5
user id: 360855
Location: Walking around with my Lil rain cloud
Gender: F
 




 
 
Libra Sun, Scorpio Rising, Aries Moon|INFP

Bands, Ships, Anime, TV Shows, Food, Dank Memes, and dadshoes- Dad shoes Not Dad's hoes




   
































 
 
 



 
 

After Pretty Odd Laughter*'s Favorite Quotes



 
the night we met - lord huron
woods - bon iver
devil's tears - angus & julia stone
hollywood - lana del rey
poison oak - bright eyes
sweet jane - cowboy junkies
candles - daughter
fast car - tracy chapman
white winter hymnal - fleet foxes
hurt - johnny cash
buzzcut season - lorde
sleepyhead - passion pit
by your side - the 1975
daddy issues - te neighbourhood
1979 - the smashing pumpkins
blush - wolf alice
dizzy on the comedown - turnover
perth - bon iver
1901 - phoenix
somebody else - the 1975
big jet plane - angus & julia stone
salvadore - lana del rey
dreams - the cranberries
more than friends - gabrielle aplin

 
rachel's favorites - a playlist


 

 
AT TIMES IT IS NOT EASY FOR ME TO TAKE UP
 
LIvInG aGaIn.


My nerves are bad tonight. Yes, bad. Stay with me. Speak to me. Why do you never speak? Speak. What are you thinking of? What thinking? What? I never know what you are thinking. Think.

                                           —T.S. Eliot
” 



I began to draw an invisible boundary between myself and other people. No matter who I was dealing with. I maintained a set distance, carefully monitoring the person’s attitude so that they wouldn’t get any closer. I didn’t easily swallow what other people told me. My only passions were books and music.
 

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever.





love is watching someone die.
This song lyric hits me hard because of the immense truth behind it. It's easy to misinterpret and think, what the hell? How is that love? But seriously. Love is watching someone die, when there is nothing you can do to save them. It's caring for them anyway, trying to make them as comfortable as possible in their final days. It's not running away because you can't handle the imminent, it's sticking it out for their sake and being there for them through it all. Loyal to the bitter end. It's washing their hair in the kitchen sink because they can no longer get in the shower, it's helping them stand and walk to the toilet, it's gently coaxing them to eat or drink a little bit of something, anything, to keep themselves hydrated and at a decent weight. It's holding an emesis bag to their mouth when that minimal food or fluid they managed to swallow down comes right back up. It's bringing them a pair of warm socks when you visit them in the hospital to keep their feet from getting cold, and applying the chapstick that they always vigorously wore to their dry lips. It's warming your food in a microwave on your back porch because you know the smell makes their stomach turn. It's giving them their pain medication every few hours even when they yell at you and try to refuse it. It's emptying out their biliary drain. It's not taking it personally when they snap at you for making ''too much'' noise because you know their suffering is so great that their tolerance for little everyday annoyances is very low. It's realizing they still want you there by their side anyway. It's laying with them silently in a dark room because just each other's presence is comforting for both of you. It's wiping their face, holding their hand, telling them it's okay to leave you and go home to Jesus if it means peace for them. It's reading a Bible verse to them as they lay on their deathbed, struggling to take in the air that is their anchor for remaining in this world, so that they may have a smooth transition into the next life. It's the most painful experience to watch someone you love deteriorate and die, but it is the most selfless and powerful demonstration of your love for them as well. And I will always be thankful that I had the incredible privilege of loving you in health/life, and through sickness/death. 

HAPPY FIVE YEAR WITTY ANNIVERSARY TO MEEEE :-) 
LOL NOT MANY PEOPLE ARE AROUND TO READ THIS BUT SPECIAL THANKS TO @SKIMRANDE, @GABIKK, @BAUBLEFAERY, @IRRESTIBLE, @AGAINSTNOONE, @GIROUXTIFUL, @FIXMEEV3RAFTERMASTER604, @AMENAH AND ALL THE LEGENDS I INTERACTED WITH, ALL MY OLD FRIENDS (UNMENTIONED BUT UNFORGOTTEN), ANYONE WHO REGULARLY LIKED OR LIKES MY QUOTES (@Y0UNGL0V3MURD3R), AND ALWAYS AND FOREVER STEVE ♥
I'M SHOOTING FOR A SIXTH YEAR HERE BC I'M TOO LAZY TO WRITE DOWN MY FEELINGS IN A JOURNAL AND I LIKE SHOWING PPL UP WITH NICE FORMATS
Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, live perfect, and work perfect, I can avoid or minimize criticism, blame and ridicule, the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame. All perfectionism is, is the 20-ton shield that we carry around hoping that it will keep us from being hurt.


THERE IS BEAUTY,
heartbreaking beauty, EVERYWHERE.

 

 








You are still the child who gently places
fallen baby birds back in their nests.
You are still the soft soul that gets
your heart broken over cruel words
and awful acts when you watch the news.
You are still the gentle heart who once
tried to heal a flower by trying to stick
its petals back when ignorant feet trampled it.

This is why you are important.
This is why you will always be needed.

Kindness is the greatest endangered thing.
And here you are, existing, with your heart so full of it.



 
@ enrikute