“Don't you ever let a soul in the world tell you that
you can't be exactly who you are.”
While my whole body is being targeted by the
small-minded individuals of my generation, I’m lying in bed
trying to count the ways in which I can become thinner, prettier,
and comfortable in my own skin.
I didn’t choose to grow up as a target for names
such as “fata**,” or “pizza face,” I
didn’t fill out a form for expressing those words as choices
of mine for people to describe me with. I didn’t ask for an
obesity problem, I didn’t choose to have acne covering my
face, and I most certainly did not choose for my hair to be so
stubborn as to where it doesn’t do what it should after hours
of trying. I didn’t choose what imperfections I was handed in
my life, I just try to deal with them. I’m fighting a battle
with everyone I see in my life, because I know that their eyes size
me up, and with all the pointing and snide remarks inside my head,
I can’t help but think that their thoughts have to be
revolving around “she’s not good enough,” or
“if I were her, I wouldn’t want to be seen in
public.” Yes, as dramatic as those may be, those are the
thoughts I have that people think of me. I’m scared to death
of presenting in my classes, because of the constant snickers that
follow me around in the halls. It’s starting to affect my
life everywhere I go. I can’t make eye contact as often as I
could before, I can’t speak to guys without feeling like
I’m being a burden to them, and I don’t attend things
where I’ll be required to dress more formally, because I know
that people will be poking fun at how I look. I suffer on a daily
basis because of a few dots on my skin, extra pounds on my body,
and hair strands that don’t want to cooperate.
I’M TIRED OF IT. I’m tired of my life
being ruined for things I can’t control, all because I
don’t fit everyone’s definition of perfect. For those
of you who are making fun of me constantly, who even gave you the
permission to decide who is beautiful and who isn’t? I can
guarantee you that you have imperfections too, and you
wouldn’t want to be constantly reminded of them, would you? I
don’t even understand what you’re gaining while
you’re pointing and laughing at me. Honestly, does it make
you feel better about your own pathetic self? You’re making
me hate myself a little more each day, and I’m not going to
tolerate it any longer. I’m done taking all of the negative
comments to bed with me at night. I’m done dealing with
ignorant opinions belonging to people who aspire to tear people
like me down. I’m done thinking of myself as an ugly human
being.
I’m Shannon, a girl who has absolutely
everything going for her. I’m driven, easy to get along with,
and I have a great sense of humor. I’m a successful student,
I treat people with kindness, and I respect my parents. I’m
competitive, honest, and responsible. I’m forgiving,
compassionate, and loving. I’m a girl who would give you the
clothes off my back, and expect nothing in return. I’m a girl
who is learning to be happy with herself, despite everyone who is
attempting to tear me down. I’m Shannon, and I wouldn’t
want to be anyone else.
“Don't you ever let a soul in the world tell you that
you can't be exactly who you are.”