I understand that
Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors,
but there's no fudging way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is
supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why
the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why
can't paper do this to people? Why isn't notebook paper
constantly suffocating students while they take notes in class?
I'll tell you why: because paper can't beat anybody; a
rock would tear that crap up in 2 seconds. When I play
rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody
claims to beat me with their paper I can punch them in the face
with my already clenched fist and say,
"Oh crap, I'm sorry. I
thought paper would protect you, you
a$sh0le!"