of no return and now it's just too late to turn around
my heart is severely hurt and bruised but i have to do what
is right for myself. there's no point in being sad all the
time if all you're doing is being happy. i'm the only
losing. i try to forgive you but i struggle cause i don't know
it's very hard to even move on and it's difficult to
and see the light and not be so angry but seriously, all
i need is some help and time to get passed this and win
over my happiness again. we built it up so high and now i'm falling
you took me to the top of the highest mountain and i fell
in love with the view. i was so blinded by the incredible
feeling you gave me, but i think it's time i got
even if i am afraid of heights. it's a long way down
been months but i stil see you in my head every single day.
not even the amount of distractions i have can keep you from
back into my thoughts and reminding me of how you were. i hate
those thoughts make me sick. i try not to wear the same
clothes i did
back when i was seeing you because all it does is take me
all i want on this earth is to forget everything you ever gave
how can i do that when all i do is remember the look on your
time you leaned in to kiss me. you're a parasite in my
brain and i swear
im sick but everyone tells me i'll be fine and i'll
soon get over it but
i know i won't ever get better.
you get flat tires every week.
i hope you spill food on your clothes.
i hope you fail your classes. i hope it rains and you can't put
up your car windows.
i hope you and her fight again.
i hope you get your feelings played with. again. i hope everyday is
a bad day for you.
i hope you run out of money. i hope your phone breaks.
i hope every apology you get is as dry and insincere as your
i hope everyone lies to you. i hope your car doesn't start
i hope your friends leave you. i hope you have bad luck everywhere
i hope you hurt. i hope she doesn't love you.
i hope you get what you deserve. i hope you're hated.
i hope you can't sleep at night. i hope you ruin everything
you've ever had.
at seventeen, you should've known
that the world isn't always beautiful and
that life isn't always lovely and you
should never change the way you are for
the sake of a teenage boy but yesterday he
told you that there is something beautiful in
death and you wanted nothing more than
to stand on the edge of a cliff and feel
your feet get swept out from underneath
your twisted heart strings wrap
around your chest to leave an unwanted
reminder that you love him and you loved
him and you will love him and it hurts;
you used to wrap yourself around him every
night like a caterpillar that didn't want to
become a butterfly but time doesn't stop
for anyone, does it? (you hit the ground as
soon as you left the cocoon) (how could
you fly when your heart is so heavy?)
he never bought you flowers and he
never held the door open and he only tried
to kiss you whenever he had a girlfriend;
you tried so hard to forget about his olive
skin and playful eyes but he still had the
nerve to tell you how much he loved you
(do not apologize for missing him; he might
have been an a-hole but you still see the
good in everybody)
you get nightmares every tuesday
about the time he rested his hands on your
cheek and really looked at you and every
sunday you're reminded of how it felt to be
trapped between him and his mangled
cotton bed sheets and mondays are the
worst because you can only think about
that saturday when you told him you hated
him and you can still smell the sadness in
his eyes (he was flying, you were crashing)