Someone asked for my
opinion of my best friend i said
this.
Let me tell you something
about Milly Green. We were best friends in middle school. I know,
right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So
then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend
Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and
Milly was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her
off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't
you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so
obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was
an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Milly, I can't
invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I
couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls
there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN.
So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so
retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would
talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of
her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess
she's on crack.