Goose

I had a moment where I had a brain fart and forgot my password for a sec and the first thing I went to type was 'hell'.

Me trying to kill a fly that's been annoying me all day:

I'm gonna hunt dis bìtch down.

Yep.






WHALERUS. 

Me:
*logs onto Witty*

*sees there are no new notifications*

*sobs uncontrollably into hands*

My friend whenever his mother manages to drag him to church:
*wears all black*
*walks up to random person*
"I can't wait to go home!!! I'll tell Satan you say hi!!!"

Its kind of sad when you come on Witty and there are only two people on, including yourself.

I can see exactly 6 years into the future, I have 2020 vision.

Cake: The key to sanity.

You don't want to know what I thought a strip mall was for the 6 years....

Me at 2 am: 'Ok, now lets play a fun game called lets see how quietly I can pee'