HannahKennison

Status: Not to ruin the ending for you, the in the end...everything will be ok <33
Joined: December 5, 2011
Last Seen: 9 years
user id: 247436
Location: ** Second star to the right **
Gender: F
So after 6 months me and my boyfriend broke up...its been about 50 days sense we did...and im lost. I dont know where to go, who to talk to, what to say, who to hang out with, how to feel. Ive been crying a lot and i cant help it. ii just wish i didnt have feelings, cause they suck. And im tired, very tired. I havnt slept for about 3-4 days, just little naps and the only thing ive eaten was chicken strips because our family went out to dinner. a heart break really fucks you up, dosnt it? 

Quotes by HannahKennison

The right to "marry" is something everyone should have. 
Gay people are the strongest people I know. Coming out in a world of hate and still love the person they love with NO shame. 
Things Dont Need to Last Forever To Be Perfect. 





-DayDream Nation-
****VENTING!!! I DONT CARE IF YOU READ THIS OR NOT. ****




I can still feel his hand shaking. I cant still hear his erratic breathing and heart beat. I cant seem to get it out of my head. Not cause i love him, cause thats not the case. But because i had everything to do with it. The nervousness and the anxiousness and the fear, was cause of me. It may not mean much to anyone but me, but it made me feel like i was wanted, need, was being longed for, like someone had an addiction and i was the drug. It might be stupidbut its true. The feeling i got as i was sitting on the floor with him, holding his shaky hand, listening to his erratic heart beat, and his breaking in between breaths. I can still feel his lips on my neck and his hard between my fingers. Its all i think about anymore. Its all i want to talk about, but i cant, i wont. I wont turn into Kailey, Im not some clingy, over dramatic, freaky, i must know everything type of girl. I want to. so bad. I wish i could but i cant. There is nothing i could have loved more than that night, than him. I dont love him, i love the things he did. The things he does. I wish i could set my mind of rewind, so i could relive that night over and over again, with different words i could have said or different actions i could have made. But i cant. So ill live it as it is...was, echted in my memory. And when Briannas room is finished, i will get to live them all over again. just thinking about it makes the butterflies in my stomach take, and i get pictures of what it looked like if someone where looking at us. Like me out of my own body. Its strange to be able to to see this, but its not like its clear. Its just little bits and peices of pictures of him and me. If you have ever openedyour eyes while you kissed someone, at first you go cross eyed but then you go back to normal and all you see is one side of there face. Thats all i see from lookng outside. I also remember his smell. i keep thinking i smell him, the strong and sweet sent of wet grass and vinilla. its only for a moment i smell these things and it makes me question myself. "Have i gone mad?" then i think, well of course you are. Your smelling things that arent there, your feeling things that dont exsist and your remembering things that didnt happen. So my answer is yes, i have gone mad. But its fun to be crazy. i cant imagine me actually going crazy, outside my own head. its werid to think hat he is the main cause of my insanity. i mena of course he couldnt help the feelings i accepted into my mind, or the was my mind can remember the smallest things. Like his finger tip. Not hisactual finger, they where rough where as his finger tips where soft and smooth and gental. or the way his lips part when we talk, or the way his eyes dont look at you, but take you in, with almost everything they got. if you where to stare at him for another minute his eyes would suck you up and your would be trapped forever. They wherent blue, nor where they grey. But somewhere in the middle, if you stood just right, you could see purple. My mind is on a complet downward spiral and there i nothing i can do about it. My heart i concently racing when my focus is on him. One thing i noticed about that night wa that, my heart wasnt racing until i felt his. My hand on his chest, where he put it. He let me into his heart that easily, made my heart race. Not the fact that he was nervous to kiss me. Not the fact that he wanted to kiss me at all, made my heart race.He was going to kiss me and there was nothing i could do about it. He let me touch him, which wasnt even my first choice. i didnt really want to. in fact he was the one who sat super close to me, not the other way around. I wish i was with him right now, to tell him that he needs to get off my mind.  To tell him that if he dosnt stop being so cute and adorable then i will go crazy. at the same time i want to tell him to forget everything and to slam his lips into mine, and put his hands around the back of my neck and hold me until forever ends. I want to tell him to lay here on the couch with me and hold my waist while humming drunk by ed sheeran in my ear. I want to tell him that he needs to forget everything that people say, because it dosnt matter. I want to tell him i need him. 
Dear Hannah, 

I moved away yet your still on my mind. You where never mine, but i feel as if i need you to be. I dont want to lose you, even though your already gone. I feel broken when you are not around. I have never felt this way about anyone else. I hate to say this, but you are my addiction and I hate it. I hate that you are always there. I hate that i cant focuse because your laugh rings through my mind. I cant sleep cause your face is the only thing i see. I cant breath cause your perfume is everywhere in the air. ive wanted you to know this for a really long time, but so many people got in the way. I need you to feel that same way but i know you never will cause in 2 days you will have been with Tyler for 3 years. I know this cause im counting the days until i get an invitation to your wedding. Even though secretly im hoping it will end. I know that you are prefect for each other because you have been through everything together and he still send you flowers every monday and writes you love letters every wednesday. Tyler is a awesome guy and ive known him almost my whole life, but that dosnt change what i feel about you. This whole loving the bestfriends girl thing is hard. Its scary to know if either one of you find out i might just end up with neither one of you. its just that my heart cant take one more second without you knowing. so...this is my love letter to you.. I really want one back. it just needs to say 3 words. "leave Me Alone" or  "I Love You" 



Love- LUKE <3
you asked what i wanted for Valentines day.
and Really all i want is for you to love me like you used to.
hey guys. im sorry but whats that website with all the cool stuff for an edit called? i forget??
Baseball season. Come to me. NOW!
the only limit is the one you set yourself
IM ON A DIET.

IM ON A DIET.

IM ON A DIET.

IM ON A DIET.

IM ON A DIET.

IM ON A DIET. 


is the CHOCOLATE?!?!?

yum. 
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