HellsDiary

Status: Tonight we'll sail to the edge of the world and let the sun fall down
Joined: April 4, 2013
Last Seen: 6 years
user id: 355685
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H e l l o   W i t t y !
Just another girl, and I guess this is my diary? Not really though. More like a secret account.  People I know in real life know my other account, so I made this. There are some thoughts and feelings they can survive without knowing I have. Don't bother asking my name, or anything about me really, because I won't tell you. Not taking any chances this time. All you  need to know about me is I'm here. I'm here to help, listen, give advice, make you laugh, or just have a fun conversation. I can bore you to tears with my drama, or we can just babble unintelligibly. Either way, even if you're not there for me, I'm here for you. That's just how it works. Stay strong, because there's always a reason;
y o u   j u s t   h a v e   t o   f i n d   i t .
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Quotes by HellsDiary

...And now I'm questioning, do I really love you?
I want him back, and I know that by the end of today I'll have had the chance to have him again. But damn, it's a bad idea, ain't it?

 

Do you remember? The green potato. That's how it all started. A 3rd grade assignment, and I drew a potato and made it green. That's how we met. You became my bestfriend. I had the biggest crush on you, too. All the way up through 6th grade. For 7th grade we went our seperate ways, and eventually stopped talking. We fought. I wonder, if we hadn't fought, would we still talk? I tried contacting you, and days later you replied. I was so excited, you were going to talk to me again! But you only told me you don't talk to old friends from our school, it brings back too many bad memories. I get it, I really do, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Yeah, we've both moved on. We both have new friends, like new people, but.... we were such good friends

 

It was great in the beginning, I really thought you loved me. Now, though, now I've changed. I'm your little s//ut. I guess that's okay, but what if that's all I become to you. A rag doll for your s//xual pleasures, a s//x toy. 
I just don't know if he's the one anymore....
Lord,
please help me. I feel alone. I feel confused. I feel lost. I feel like it's been too long. Too long since I was happy. Too long since I really talked to You. He doesn't believe in You. but I know You're there, I know You'll protect us. I need help, God. I don't know what happened. I've changed, I've gotten older, but I haven't grown up. If I'd grown up, I wouldn't be where I am now. I've made so many wrong choices, and now I'm trapped. How do I fix this? Can I fix it? Why are people so mean? Why is life so complicated? Was it meant to be this way? Or did we ruin it for ourselves? Whichever the reason, I need guidance, Lord. I need advice. I need help. I know You'll provide what I need, but it doesn't feel like it. I know You have reasons, and You work in mysterious ways. I know You give us what we need, even if we don't know it, but please, give me a sign, give me a reason, give me something to cling to. Restore my hope. Replace my fight. Lately I've strayed. I've gone of the path, I've lost sight of the shore, and I've lost myself. Where do I find myself, God? How do I fix this? How do I come back home? How do I grow up? It's so scary, the future. But the present is scary, too. I'm not a good friend, am I? I'm not a good person. I've done horrible things. Please, just help me. Help me work things out between You and I, between him and I, between the world and I. I need to think things through, I need time. I don't know how to express this. I don't know how to express what I need anymore. I don't know what I need anything, all I know is,
I need something.
I don't know what I want anymore, I don't know what I need.. 
I can't tell if I did the right thing or not
That moment when you just need someone to talk to,
T  H  E  R  E  '  S    N  O    O  N  E
You said you were going to stop pushing it..