Hopelessinluv

Status: Just looking for some new people to talk to...any takers?
Joined: April 8, 2009
Last Seen: 4 years
Birthday: May 16
user id: 72859
Location: Long Island, New York
Gender: F
Marissa. 19. Single :/. College Freshman, AU16<3 
Loves music, twitter, sunglasses, my car, texting, the gym, my friends, my family, reading,and shopping.
I can be the nicest person ever if I like you, or the biggest witch if I need to BUT I am very friendly until you give me a reason not to be so hit me up!
Unfortunately not on witty as much anymore due to lack of time....

Quotes by Hopelessinluv

The only thing I really want for my birthday today is an email from you but it's ok I know it won't happen...
Just remember when they tell you that they are different...they are lying and you will just end up hurt in the end
LIKE ALWAYS
I always tell myself not to fall for a guy online again and then I meet a guy that I think will be different and I start to fall and then I get hurt just like all the other times....
Meeting someone onlince can be pretty great! You talk to them all the time. They mean so much to you. You can trust them 100% and tell them things you couldn't tell anyone else. But there is a problem with only knowing someone online. Eventually they leave. They say they won't: you'll be friends forever, they care too much to let you go BUT they do leave. Even worse, they often leave in a way that hurts so badly. They leave without a word of warning.- gone just like that, leaving you mad and upset. why mad AND upset? They left without saying (I'm not saying it always happens like this; in fact it probably only happens to me, which it has, three times). I feel like this is the worst way to leave someone though because they won't know if you are alright or not. At least if you say you are done talking it will hurt but there will be closure. When a friend leaves without warning  I spend so much time worrying and thinking about it, not that I wouldn't worry and think if they had said they were leaving, I would but it would be easier to eventually get over. With one just leaving you don't know if they are ok or not; they could be dead. I still worry about people I used to talk to and at times it hurts so bad. 
So now I am talking to this new guy and I am really starting to get attached because he is so nice and a great friend and I really love talking to him. But I can't help and wonder if it's actuallya good idea because something could happen and I would never know; one day there will just be no replies to my emails and that thought scares me so badly. But yet another chance I take...
And then he turns around and makes you fall for him all over again...
You know that feeling where your body starts to shut down, but not beccause you are sick: because you are stressed and upset and you reach the point where you just don't even know what to do.

For me, today was that day. I even had to skip class because my body couldn't handle it. I was done. I had so much on my mind and I was up so late last night thinking and crying that I just physically NEEDED to lie in bed. 

Some of you will probably judge and say I'm being dramatic but I'm not, I just finally reached a breaking point. I think that overthinking led me. I finally analyzed EVERYTHING that happened this year, even just these past few months, hell these past few weeks. I came to a conclusion though, I have to stop blaming everybody else and just accept thee fact that it is me. I am the cause and I am the reason for all of my problems, failed relationships, hell I'm the reason I am the way I am. Not saying I like but just saying that's what it is. 

I feel like people say that you need to share the way you feel with others but I can't A) who I would share with and B) if I could find someone to share with there is NO way that they will understand everything going through my head and they will most definitely think that I am crazy. 

I feel broken, not my heart; everything: my whole body, just me. And it wasn't a clean break it was shattering and I lost so many pieces along the way. There is no coming back from this...I am what I am.
 
I want the guy that treats me as a Princess even if he doesn't look like a stereotypical prince!
I am really happy that I found someone that I can confide in and open up to who I know won't judge me and as of just yet I'm not able to scare him off....

You know who you are, thank you <3
That horrible moment when you start falling for someone your friends don't like so you have to lie and say that you got over it and therefore cannot be truthful in your conversations with him because you are hifing all of your feelings from the world....yeah this is how my life has been all week!
I would end up falling for a guy that my friends don't like or trust. I don't know if I can trust him myself, but he is so great....ugh I don't know what to do. Why does this happen with the first guy that may actually like me back (May being because he seems like a TOTAL flirt).

Any Advice???