ILoveSummer0731

England

Let me tell you something about America. We were best friends in the 1600's. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in the mid 1700's, I started going to war with France and taxing the colonists, and they were like, weirdly mad at me. Like, if I would tax their tea, they'd be like, "Well we're just going to throw it all in Boston Harbor" And I'd be like, "Have fun with the new soldiers I'm sending over." So then, for the Intolerable Acts, which was their punishment for being so rude, I was like, "Guys, I'm going to make a bunch of soldiers stay in your houses and cut off your ports." I mean I couldn't have them stop paying taxes! They thought they were going to just not pay for a war they didn't want to get involved in in the first place! I mean, right? They were MY COLONIES. So then George Washington wrote King George III and started yelling at him, it was so retarded. And then America started a revolution because no one would listen to their stupid ideas, and they came back in the fall for the new One Direction album, all of their teenage girls were going crazy, and now I guess now they're obsessed with my my boys and my accent.