I think
I've turned Witty into my own little venting
corner. Where I can let out all of my insicurities. Say
what I want to say. Let you know how I really feel. And I
don't feel particularly good, let me tell you. I feel
worthless. Less than sh*t. Like I don't mean
anything to anyone. I've
almost c u t. But I didn't. I've almost commited s u
i c i d e. But I didn't. And it wasn't because of
anyone else. It was because I saved my own as*. Because I'm a
coward. I can't stand that. Someday I'll actually do it.
I'll completely break down. I'll cut. I just
know that I will someday. With all the pressure
to be just like my perfect best friend. I'm drowning in
myself and no one's noticing. Sometimes I
want to scream. I want them to hear me. I want them to know that
something's wrong. But I can't bear to do that to them.
They don't know that it's their fault. I keep my fake
smile on for them. I try to be fun and playful
like I used to be. It's hard. I'm falling
apart. Do I really matter to anyone? Or am I just in
everyone's way. I can't take it anymore. I can't do
this. I need relief. I want to hurt myself, but I'm too much
of a wuss. I can't do it, but I need to.
I'm going insane. I'm slowly killing myself from the
inside out. I'm on the edge of the cliff, about to jump.
I'm not worth anything. I'm such an
attention wh*re. Look at me, wanting sympathy. I
don't want your freaking pity. I want to feel
pretty. I want to feel needed.
I want to feel happy. I'm sorry for ranting.
I'm not worth it.
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Credit: PaperLung