If you could see me
now
chapter
10
The next day when I showed up for
work Conor ignored me completely. I didn't care. Well, that
was what I told myself. Eoin spoke to me though, so it was easier
to keep my mind off Conor.
This was my last day before my Christmas holidays. I could almost
taste the turkey that I wasn't going to cook. Hazel was busy
checking to see what else she would need for her Christams
dinner. She thought that she might as well be organised and buy
things a few days in advance. I offered to come with her when she
was going food shopping, since there was nothing to do on the
farm.
When we got to the supermarket in town, Hazel decided to let me
in on some of John's secrets.
"We're going to close down the farm," she told me,
almost whispering.
"What? Why?" I gasped.
"Nobody visits our little petting farm anymore. It was a
good business at the start, but not anymore," she said.
"But it could be good again. Kids love wearing old clothes
and getting mud and dirty all over themselves while feeding
foals," I told her, smiling slightly.
"John said he just doesn't want to do this kind of thing
anymore," Hazel confessed. "If his heart's not in
it then I'm not going to force him to keep going."
"So, what will you do? If you close down?" I asked.
"Well, John and I always planned to live in the coutryside
in France, but then when I got pregnant with Darren so we
didn't get to. Darren and Conor could stay here, of course,
but Eoin might not be able to. And, well, Joe and Annie are too
young to stay here and I don't think they would like to
move." She sighed, picking up some peas off the shelf.
"Yes, that's true," I agreed. "But parents
sometimes need to think of themselves. Because if you don't
you'll go mad. It happened someone I knew. She did everything
for her family and they were ungrateful for her. Then one day she
snapped and committed suicide." I could hear the sadness in
my voice as I spoke.
"My God, that's awful," she gasped.
I nodded, not trusting my voice.
"So, what are your family doing for Christmas?" she
asked cheerily.
What was I meant to say to that?
"Are you okay? You've gone very white," Hazel said,
putting her hand on my forehead to check my temperature.
"F-fine," I told her. "I just... don't know
how to answer that question."
"Why not?" she asked, staring uncomprehendingly at
me.
"The woman that killed herself is my mother," I said
quickly.
"Oh, I'm very sorry." She smiled sympathetically at
me. "What about your father?"
I sighed. "Don't even go there."
"Okay, I won't, but if you need somewhere to stay over
Christmas you come to our house, alright?" she said.
"Oh, I couldn't ask you to-"
"You're not asking, we're offering," she
interrupted.
"Conor might not want me there," I said slowly.
"Well the rest of us do." I had never heard Hazel's
voice so stern, like she wasn't asking me to come over - it
was more like she was ordering me.
"Okay then, I'll come," I told her.
"Good. Now, help me pick out a turkey."
Later, when we went back to their house, and I was going upstairs
to go to the bathroom, I overheard Annie, Darren, Eoin and Conor
talking in Conor and Eoin's room.
"She is not spending Christmas here," Conor snapped. I
grinned to myself, happy that I had annoyed him in the little way
that I could.
"Yes she is. Hazel told me her parents live really far away
and that she can't go see them," Annie said. "She
can't spend Christmas alone." I still found it strange
that they called their parents by their first name. I mean, I did
that too, but that was different. It was hard to speak about my
mother because it hurt, so it was easier to call her Sharon. And
I didn't like to think my father was actually my father and
that he was where he was - actually, I didn't like to think
about him or what he did much at all - so it suited me just fine
to call him Thomas. I was grateful that Hazel didn't tell
them what really happened to my mother - Sharon.
"I'll pay for the plane ticket myself before I have her
stay here," Conor muttered.
"Look, Conor, I don't know what happened between you
two," Darren began.
"I do," Eoin murmered.
"Shut up Eoin. Anyway, Jodie is like family to us and we all
treat her like a sister. Christmas is a time for family, and
since she can't see her family, we ought to step in as a kind
of adopted family," Darren said. I had never heard him say
anything kind, and that was the kindest thing anyone had said
about me. I smiled to myself.
"No, I won't have it. If she spends Christmas here then
I won't. She completely messed with my head and then
humiliated me," Conor hissed.
"You're the one who didn't tell her you had a
girlfriend," Eoin said in my defence. I didn't deserve
him as a friend, truly I didn't.
"Shut up Eoin! Just because you have some stalker crush
thing with her doesn't mean th-"
Conor was cut off rather quickly with the sound of shuffling
feet, a punch, and a groan.
"My nose," Conor said, his voice muffled.
The door swung open. Conor froze when he saw me standing there
with a grin on my face.
"Oh, I suppose you think this is funny," he snapped,
blood dripping down from his nose onto his shirt.
"Yes, I do actually," I said, laughing. "Here,
I'll help you."
Author's
Note:
My 161st quote. Seems like
just yesterday that I posted my first one :')
Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary
:)