Ireland201

Status: Sometimes what you like and what you feel is right are two different things, and they clash. Goodbye.
Joined: August 13, 2012
Last Seen: 1 decade
Birthday: August 17
user id: 324736
Location: Ireland
Gender: F
Gone.
 
 Bye Witty.
Thanks for being there for me, 
but I have promises to keep and I cannot
fulfil them on this website.


 

Quotes by Ireland201


Although
there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best
with a
f//ck you.

 

If you could see me now
chapter 9


 
The look on Conor's face was priceless.
"What time is she coming over at?" he asked, his eyes wide.
I looked up at the clock. "I don't know. Ten more minutes?"
"Oh," was all he could manage.
"Anyway, Eoin, what were you saying?" I asked, smiling at him.
He smiled back, pleased to be centre of attention again, and continued on with his story. Conor sat quietly, staring down at his food.
"If Scarlet's coming then maybe we should wait until she gets here before we eat," Hazel said. She was so kind, always thinking of other people, while I was here tormenting and lying to her son.
Scarlet hadn't called. I had invited her around. She was reluctant to come, and when I asked why, she said Conor wanted to talk to her and it didn't sound good. I told her that was nonsense, and when she said she thought she liked someone else, I told her that I had liked him but he had never liked me, and as soon as I found out he had a girlfriend I told him I was sorry.
"When did you find out that?" she had asked.
"The second day I worked here," I lied.
I convinced her that all he wanted to talk about was how he was sorry if there was any confusion. She had agreed to come.
We did wait. Scarlet arrived exactly ten minutes later.
Hazel greeted her at the door, took her coat and hung it up, and then told her to sit down next to Conor. She smiled nervously at him and then at me.
"Oh, you must be Jodie," she said, frowning slightly.
Scarlet was even prettier than I had imagined. She had wavy red hair and golden eyes. She was tall and pale, and had the kind of figure that all the other girls envied. Her smile was beautiful, and I honestly couldn't find fault with the girl. 
I bet she's nice too, I thought bitterly. I was right though.
"Yeah, that's me."
Conor was looking at me with a pained expression on his face. Clearly, I hadn't reacted the way he had hoped for.
Scarlet stretched her hand across the table for me to shake. I glanced at Conor, who was smiling crookedly at me. I shook her hand.
Scarlet and I talked and talked while eating our lunch. She was too nice, really. I wasn't sure if she actually liked me or if she just liked everyone or if she hated me and was good at hiding it. She seemed to think I was hilarious though, so I was sure she liked me - as impossible as it is for people to like me.
"Scarlet," Conor interrupted me mid-sentence. "I need to talk to you. Alone." He glared at me as he stood up, and I stared back with a blank expression.
I turned back to Eoin then. "So, what kind of music do you like?"
Eoin was too nice also. I had been ignoring him since Scarlet arrived, but he still spoke to me when I needed him. He was so adorable. I'd keep him all to myself if he wasn't too good for me.
And if I could get my mind off Evan.
Since the whole thing with Conor, my mind had kept drifting back to Evan every chance it got.
Scarlet and Conor left the room, Conor slamming the door with a loud bang.
After Eoin had explained - in great detail - all of his favourite bands and singers, he asked me a question I hadn't been prepared to answer. "Who was your first boyfriend?"
I hesitated. "My first proper boyfriend was Evan, I guess."
"When did you meet him?"
"When I was fifteen," I answered, trying not to remember.
"When did you break up?"
"We didn't," I mumbled.
"I thought you said you didn't have a boyfriend," he said in confusion.
"I really don't want to talk about it," I told him, smiling slightly.
Conor and Scarlet came back in then.
"Just tell me why," Scarlet begged.
"You want to know why?" he snapped, pointing at me. "She's the reason!" 
"What did I do?" I asked calmly.
"Yeah, I'm confused," Scarlet said. "Jodie said that when you told her you had a girlfriend and weren't interested that she backed off."
"I never told her that!" Conor shouted, throwing his hands up. "She's messing with my head. Look, Scarlet, I do like you, but I need time to think. I'm confused."
"Oh, you think I'm just going to wait around incase you like me more than her? Well, if you figure it out, don't even bother coming to tell me!" she said, turning on her heels and walking out the door.
Conor looked back at me.
"Should have kept her," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "Because you ain't getting me."

 
Author's Note:
Jodie's such a b..tch.
Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary :)

 


Stars
can't shine
without
darkness.
When I saw you
I fell in love,
and you smiled
because you knew.





~William Shakespeare
Don't tell me the sky's the limit when
there's footprints on the moon.






~nmq
You've got the words to change a nation, but you're biting your tongue.
You've spent a lifetime stuck in silence
afraid you'll say something wrong.
If no one ever hears it
how we gonna learn your song?
So come on, come on, come on, come on.
You've got a heart as loud as lions
so why let your voice be tame?
Maybe we're a little different
there's no need to be ashamed.
You've got the light to fight the shadows
so stop hiding it away.
Come on, come on.
I wanna sing,
I wanna shout.
I wanna scream till the words
dry out.
So put it in all of the papers
I'm not afraid.
They can read all about it,
read all about it.

If you could see me now
chapter 8


 
I had one day left of work before I was on Christmas holidays. Praying I could keep it together for Conor's talk with me, I knocked on the front door of the Tailor's house.
Eoin answered. "Hey Jodie," he muttered. "Conor's out in the sheds with Teddy. I guess you'll want to go help him."
My stomach twisted. "Nah. I'm getting sick of Conor. Can't I stay with you today?"
His face lightened. "Well, if you want. I don't mean to be rude, but why do you want to stay with me? You never did before."
"Of course I did. But Conor's so clingy! I don't know why he thinks I want to be friends. I mean, he told me about his girlfriend - Sarah, is it?" I asked.
"Scarlet," Eoin corrected me.
"Right. Scarlet. Anyway, he never shuts up about her! He must be really clingy with her. I'm only his friend and he practically stalked me! Imagine being his girlfriend," I said, smiling and rolling my eyes. "He's a nice guy though."
"Right. Nice," he sounded unsure.
"I think Scarlet would be pi...sed if I kept hanging around with him anyway. You know, jealous girlfriend and all that," I added.
"You're so mean somtimes," Eoin said, laughing. "Come on, we can help with the Christmas tree."
He took my hand and brought me into the sitting room, where we set up the tree. I had to admit, I was surprised at how easily I had lied.

Conor's POV
I went into the kitchen, disappointed that Jodie hadn't showed up. I had a big speech about how I had a girlfriend, but liked Jodie more, and I would break up with Scarlet. Why wouldn't she show up?
"Oh, I was just about to call you in," Hazel said when I walked in. "Call in Eoin and Jodie, will you?"
"Jodie?" I asked. "She's here?"
"Yes. She's been here all day. They're in the sitting room. Tell them lunch is ready."
"Oh." That was strange. I went into the sitting room, and found Eoin and Jodie decorating the Christmas tree. They were laughing and teasing each other. They looked like a couple. Neither of them noticed when I walked in.
I cleared my throat. Jodie looked up at me and, still smiling, walked over to me.
"I haven't seen you all day," she said, in an over friendly tone - not at all like her. Since when was she nice to people? Especially me?
"Ha. Yeah. Lunch's ready," I said awkwardly.
"Okay. Come on, Eoin!" She went into the kitchen and I stared after her, my eyes wide. When Eoin walked past I looked him in the eye.
"What did you do to her?" I asked.
He grinned. "Nothing. She wanted to stay with me, and I wasn't going to ask why. She's been really nice. And she doesn't like you, apparently."
"What? Why not?"
"I don't know," he admitted. "She said you're clingy, and that she would hate to be Scarlet because th-"
"Scarlet? Who told her about Scarlet?" I snapped.
"You did," he said slowly.
"Come on! Lunch is ready!" Jodie called from the kitchen. Eoin shrugged and walked off and I followed him, trying to process some of what was happening.
I sat down opposite to Jodie. She smiled at me and then continued her conversation with Eoin.
"Oh, Conor?" Jodie said, cutting Eoin off mid-sentence. "Scarlet rang earlier. She said she was coming around today. Forgot to tell you."


 
Author's Note:
I'm aware of this chapters awfulness, thank you very much.
Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary :)
 


If you could see me now
chapter 7


 
I overheard the reason why Eoin was angry while looking for my gloves in my car the next day. Eoin and Joseph were walking from the back door to where I was. 
"Conor can be such an as..ole sometimes," Eoin said.
"Does he even like Jodie?" Joseph asked.
"He said he does, but then I asked about Scarlet and he said he didn't know what to think," Eoin said. I could almost picture him rolling his eyes.
"He might just be doing it to annoy you," Joseph pointed out.
"Joe, he's not like that," Eoin said, not sounding so sure himself.
I climbed silently out of my car and stood still behind it, barely breathing. I had to listen to this.
"Why else would he do it? He has Scarlet," Joe said.
"I don't know. Maybe. But he's still my brother. I didn't think he would do that. He knows I like Jodie."
I had to refrain from gasping.
The came around the corner then, and spotted me. "Sh..t," Eoin muttered.
"H-hi, er, I-I was just going now," I stammered, blushing.
"What are you doing?" Joe asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Oh, nothing. I, er, dropped my keys. Yeah, they went under the car. I-I was just getting them," I said quickly.
"Jodie, they're in your hand." Joe spoke to me as if I were mentally disabled.
"Yeah, because I picked them up you idiot," I snapped.
"Sure you did." I glared at him.
"Did you hear what we were talking about?" Eoin asked quickly.
"Nope," I lied. "Just got here."
"Oh, right," Eoin sounded relieved.
"Do you know where Conor is?" I asked.
"He's not here," Joe said. "Went out with a...friend of his, Scarlet."
I felt a lump in my throat. "Okay," I croaked. "I should go."
"What's the hurry? Do your parents want you to help with the Christmas decorations?" Eoin asked. "We can help too if you'd like. We've never met your parents."
Another lump in my throat. "I just have to go."
They didn't say anything else, and I just drove off. I had to pull over when I could barely see through the tears. Why was I crying? Over Conor! I hated him! It was just a stupid kiss.
But it wasn't just a stupid kiss. It was something I had only experienced once before. With Evan. When we first kissed. More tears.
I eventually calmed down and continued my drive home. When I got to town, where I lived, I saw a little cafe that I went to with Marci once.
Marci. How long had it been? I used to call her my best friend. It had been almost a year.
How had I thought everything was falling into place? I shouldn't have said that. I wasn't lucky enough for a break in life.
I went home and sat down, realizing how lonely I was. I really had nothing. My house was empty basically, and nobody even cared enough to ask if I was okay!
My old phone that looked like it was about twenty years old vibrated.
Can we talk? I think we should be just friends. Hear me out, I have a lot to say:)x - Conor
I made a promise to myself then. If Conor didn't care about me - he clearly cared more about Scarlet, whoever she was - then I shouldn't care about him either. He wouldn't see me cry, or think I was upset by anything he said to me. I would continue working with him, and I would be friendly and pleasant.
And I would not kill myself because of him.


 
Author's Note:
I love how I lost nearly half of my readers in three chapters </3 Did you all get sick and die?
 
Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary :)
 


If you could see me now
chapter 6


 
In the days that passed, the hole in my heart began to heal. No, not heal. I said before that someone will collapse unless they had someone to help them through the pain. Conor was helping me. I was stronger because of him.
It took Conor and I nearly a week to look each other in the eye after our near-kiss. Eoin distracted me, and I didn't complain. I would do anything to get my mind off of Conor.
He was the main topic in my mind. When I wasn't with him, I was thinking about him. I caught myself blushing whenever we made eye contact at the lunch his mother prepared for us every day. How pathetic. How unfaithful to Evan.
After five days of us avoiding each other, Conor came up to me out at the sheds. Eoin had gone into the house to get us hot-chocolate and we were left alone.
"Look, I'm really sorry about the other day. I don't know why I did that," he said, apoligetically.
"It's fine," I muttered.
"So, are we friends again?"
"We never were friends," I said, grinning at him.
"You're so horrible." He laughed and pushed me gently. I took a step backwards, tripping over Teddy's bucket of food. Conor caught my arm just before I fell and pulled me up. "Steady," he said, his body pressed against mine.
I stared back up at him, struck dumb. What was I meant to do? Did I want to kiss Conor? I hoped I didn't. But maybe things would be easier, the pain easier to cope with, if I had him.
I had no time to make my decision. His face was leaning in towards mine, and I was leaning in towards him.
Every bit on conscience I had was screaming that this was wrong, that I was betraying Evan. What could I do?
He pressed his lips gently to mine, and I didn't pull away. The ring on my finger felt twice as heavy as soon as our lips met. He glided his tongue along my lip and I wrapped my arms around his neck.
Suddenly, there was a smash. We pulled away and looked in the direction of the sound.
Eoin was standing ten metres away, at the entrance to the shed, three smashed mugs of hot-chocolate on the ground, his jaw hanging open.
"Er, Eoin-"
Conor was interrupted by Eoin turning and walking away. "Dammit," Conor muttered. "Eoin! Wait!" He ran after Eoin and I stood there, frozen.
What just happened? I thought.

Christmas was less than two weeks away. I had been brief when asked what I was doing for Christman. "This and that. It's different every year," I had said. When asked where I was going, I had said "Here, there and everywhere."
There was a strange tension between Eoin and Conor after Eoin walked in on us kissing.
"What's wrong with Eoin?" I asked as we fed the hens.
"Long story," Conor said, smiling at me. "So, you think we're friends now?"
I pretended to consider it. "I don't know..."
"Aw, come on!"
"Well, what kind of friends kiss, Conor?" I snapped, a biiter edge to my voice that I hadn't intended on being there.
"Oh, you remember that."
"Why would I forget?"
"I was hoping you would, even though I certainly haven't," he said, grinning. I loved his smile.
"Why's that?"
"That's why Eoin's mad, because we kissed," he sighed. "But I don't regret it," he added on in a happier tone.
I had butterflies in my tummy. I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks. I forgot about Evan and Tara for that moment.
All that mattered was Conor Tailor.


 
Author's Note:
Conor's name sounds familiar to me... is that some celebrity or something?:/ 
Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary :)

 


If you could see me now
chapter 5
Conor's POV


 
"Evan wanted a horse," she whispered, stroking Teddy's neck.
"Who?"
"A friend of mine," she hummed, smiling slightly.
I never forgot that name, or the way she smiled when she said it. It was as if it were some inside joke that I wasn't part of. Or as if there were good and bad memories associated with that name. Her eyes lit up, but there was something more behind them. Something I didn't understand.
"So, would you like lessons?" I asked, snapping her out of her daze.
She bit her lip. "I don't know... You're lucky I'm standing this close to a horse, you want me to get on one?"
"Go on. For the bant," I said, grinning.
"Oh, sure. If I fall off and break my neck, you can tell the doctor "Oh, it was just for the bant,"" she said sarcastically. "What does that even mean?"
"For the fun of it. Do it just so you can say you did. That kind of thing," I explained. "Live on the edge."
She rolled her eyes. "Not today."
"Can we live on the edge tomorrow?" I asked, smiling still.
"No. Not for a while."
It had started to rain and it was getting heavier and heavier. It pounded off the roof of the shed. I could barely hear Jodie speaking.
"So, will I get to meet this Evan?" I asked.
"Maybe someday. If you keep annoying me it will be sooner than you would hope," she said, the same menacing smile on her face. I still didn't understand what was behind the happiness in her eyes.
"What are you talking about?"
She shook her head and grinned, although it didn't reach her eyes. "It's a secret."
"I'm a good secret keeper," I told her.
"I don't care."
There was a silence then, as I debated whether or not to say the next thing.
"Are you okay?" she asked, obviouslt seeing my internal debate.
"Um, yeah. I was just wondering if...well...is Evan, like, your...boyfriend?" I asked, feeling idiotic.
There was a fraction of a second of silence and then her face crumpled in what could only have been agony. She sank down to the ground, burying her face in her hands. I could clearly hear her crying, even over the pouring rain and the slight thunder that had started. I stood frozen, not knowing what to do.
She sighed, wiping away tears, looking up at me. "No, Conor, he's not."
"Oh," was all I could manage.
"He was, but not anymore," she muttered.
I knelt down beside her. She looked down at her hands, at a ring on her finger that I hadn't noticed she was wearing.
"Did you break up?" I asked, trying to sound sympathetic.
She hesitated. "I guess you could call it that."
For some reason, I knew she wasn't telling me half of the story. But I wouldn't upset her anymore than I already had. I wrapped my arms around her and she buried her face in my chest, still crying.
"You're not half bad," she said when she had cried herself out.
"Not so bad yourself, Jodie," I told her, grinning.
She changed position so that my arms were still around her, but we were looking into each other's eyes.
I wanted to hug her, and kiss her, and tell her she was fine. That she deserved better than Evan.
"Thank you," she whispered. "So much."
"Any time." I leaned my face in closer to hers. She stared up at me, an unreadable expression in her eyes.
She flinched suddenly, making me jump. "Maybe we should go inside."
I coughed awkwardly. "Yeah. Good idea."

 
Author's Note:
Yeah, yeah. I know. The romance chiz will start soon, so don't worry.
Feedback? Follow for a follow. Thanks! ~Mary :)

 

< 1 2 3 4 5 Next >