JackVidgen
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Joined: June 2, 2011
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user id: 179412
Joined: June 2, 2011
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 179412
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Flair
i've got more scars than friends.
Society killed the teenager
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.
Die young and save yourself.
People suffer and people die.
We're just left to wonder
why.
"If someone tells you you're not beautiful,
turn around and walk away so they can
have a great view of your fabulous ass."
- Miley Cyrus
Some of the happiest people in the world,
are the best actors.
If I died today. Tell them, tell them all everyone of my friends and family, it would have onyt taken one person not to give up on me, to not listen when I told them I was fine, to not beilive me when I told them to stop asking. You could have saved me, but no one cared enough I guess. I guess it is all too late noe. Oh well.Goodbye.
These memories are dangerous.
Going through my mind like knives,
cutting open everything I've locked
away. And as the memories come
flooding out, so does the blood.
That's okay, it's not like i needed anyone to talk to.
I'm used to having nobody.
I think if you saw
all the scars I have, you'd run away.
Self-pity becomes your oxygen. But you learn to breathe it without a gasp, so nobody even notices you're hurting.
if you close your eyes, you see darkness. but if you keep them closed for long enough, you'll see light.
My hands won't stop shaking,
I drop the smile I've been faking,
The tears won't stop flowing,
It's about time I get going.
Why can't I just say
Good-bye?
I wish you cared.
I wish I didn't care.
I wish it was easier.
I wish things weren't so confusing.
I wish I liked myself.
I wish I wasn't so insecure.
I wish I could be the person in my head.
I wish my thoughts didn't kill me.
I wish reality was like my dreams.
I wish I wasn't so different.
I wish I could just escpe.
Better yet. I wish I could disappear.
They just didn't care
They didn't care at all
☺
it's amazing what a smile can hide.
I sometimes prefer being at school
then my own home.
Fresh new tool
glistens in the light,
sharp enough to do
the job just right.
Lock myself away,
ready to go wild.
My biggest release
since I was a child.
Habits come and go;
addictions not-so-much.
Pain fades away
with the slightest touch.
Sheets stained red again,
it's how it always goes,
and like a crimson river
the blood just flows.
A rush of euphoria;
my own little high.
I do this because
I'm not brave enough to die.
I chose the thigh this time
because nobody sees...
I never show off
above my knees.
So with a fake smile
I can face the day,
keeping my secret
hidden well away.
"I was trying to numb the pain,
and that's all that mattered."
- D e m i L o v a t o.
inside she cried, outside she lied.
Dying to know,
but afraid to find out.
If I could I would shrink myself,
and sink through your skin to your blood cells,
and remove whatever
makes you hurt
but I am too weak to be your cure.
Strong on the outside
breaking on the inside.
Whatever happened to
being yourself? In the end, you're the only one you have left.
The prettiest Smiles...
Have experienced the most pain.
And The nicest people,
Know how it feels to be
No one really knows,
What someone else goes through, they don't know their pain, or how their feeling, they don't know your situation unless they've walked in your shoes & been through what you have, everyone is an individual we can all go through the same thing & have different opinions on it, so who are we to judge anyone?
When my time comes,
forget the wrong that I've done.
Help me leave behind some
reasons to be missed.
I don't mean to frighten you,
I'm just a bit mentally insane.
They say I can't last a day in the real world, I say they couldn't survie one night in mine.
Your target is your obsession
How do you run away from things that are in your head?
They ask me why it's so hard to trust,
i ask them why it's so hard to keep a promise.
I'm not afraid of dying,
pieces of me die all the time.
She's back.
The Monster.
I feel her.
Under my skin, in my head.
Focus, don't let them see you cry.
It has been said that time heals all wounds,
I do not agree. The wound remains. In time,
the mind, protecting it's sanity, covers them
with scar tissue, and the pain lessens,
but is never gone.
Rose Kennedy
Smiling and being happy are two different things.
She may seem happy now,
but a talent of hiding emotions can't erase her past.
The scars won't fade, even if the pain does. They're the battle wounds that never leave your side.
SHE'S LIVING HAPPILY
IN HER LITTLE FANTASY
---------------------
BUT THIS IS REALITY
AND SHE'S A WALKING TRAGEDY
If You Only Care
about yourself, society calls you selfish.
if you care about other people, they leave you & it completely tears you apart.
what are we supposed to do ?
SILENCE
SPEAKS
WHEN
WORDS
CAN'T
the worst part is,
there's no one else
to blame.
THOUGHT BY NOW, I'D BE FINE
BUT ALL THESE TEARS ARE BLURRING EVERY LINE
First it controls your mind.
Then it destroys your body.
I can see the look in your eyes,
I know what's going on in your mind.
Somewhere along the lines,
Everything fell apart.In a blur of self-hatred & saddness
Welcome to my mind.
The place where thoughts consume you.
Enjoy your stay.
Scare them into tears,
the way they frightened you into scars.
Dying,
she gives her last smile to this world that has been so unkind.
Scars.
Only if you knew the story behind them,
you'd understand why they can't stop.
Your eyes tell lies your mouth could never spill.
I Push People Away
because if I don't, they end up leaving on their own
Do you remember her now? The girl who never used to smile?
She might fall into your mind, and might stay for while.
Do you remember her eyes, dark brown with no glow?
She cried them out for hours when she had no where to go.
Thick and faded scars entirely covered her arm.
Did you ever stop to wonder words could do such harm?
She told others to hold on, to keep going, to stay strong.
You actually thought she was happy? You were wrong.
Battling herself, she was trapped in her very own mind.
A lost and broken child no one bothered to find.
Wanting nothing more than for the pain to finally end,
She settled for the only option; it was time to drop dead.
Her fragile grip on hope was beginning to wear loose,
Other thoughts consumed her mind, the gun, pills, or noose?
This child was a lost cause, not worthy of being missed.
Her hands were never held, her lips remained unkissed.
No one stayed long enough to show that they care,
The feeling of being worthless was just too much to bare.
Recovery became an idea way out of her reach.
Why could she save others, but not practice what she preached?
She treated others so lovely, but herself like dirt.
Was there ever a day not filled with hurt?
She insisited she was fine, it was what they wanted to hear.
She had them fooled, while she planned to disappear.
She kept her share of secrets, one she would never tell.
Outside she remained quiet, but her mind was begging to yell.
The darkness never faded, it never turned to light.
"That's it" she said, "I give up!" It all ended tonight.
A friend could have saved her, maybe convince her to stay.
But everyone she opened up to, gave up along the way.
She could have made it far, but couldn't do it on her own.
Maybe this would be different if she wasn't so alone.
You thought she could make it through whatever,
And now she is done, and will be gone forever.
Her time is up, she put the gun to her head.
Her hand slowly pulls the trigger, bang bang, she's finally dead.
I Guess I Don't
really blame you for leaving me. I would leave myself too if I could, but unfortunately,
I'm kinda stuck with myself
I push everyone away
because I'm better off alone. I can't get hurt that way.
I may look happy,
but honestly dear
the only way I'll really smile
is if you cut me ear to ear.
WORDS ARE POWERFUL.
THEY HAVE THE POWER TO SAVE A LIFE, OR TAKE A LIFE.
you don't know me at all,
you only know the things I have chosen to let you find out.
Problems are never, ever temporary for me. If something happens, it stays in my mind constantly. There's not a day I don't think of everything i've ever been through. I live in the past.
When I look at life, it's not that I don't want to see things
exactly as they happened. It's just that I prefer to remember them
in an artistic way. & truthfully, the lie of it all is much more honest,
because I invented it. Clinical psychology tells us that truama is the
ultimate killer. Memories are not recycled like atoms & particales in
physics, they can be lost forever. It's sort of like, my past is an
unfinished painting, & as an artist of that painting, I must fill all the ugly
holes & make it beautiful again. It's not that I've been dishonest,
it's just that I loathe reality.
Yes, that hurts the most. When you need to help someone and they won't let you. You tell someone and lose them, or you don't tell someone and still lose them. It's even worse when they are a huge part of you. You can't bare seeing them like that. They mean so much to you, but you mean nothing to them. They don't understand that. You're left frozen and helpless. You regret letting them so close to you, because everything they do hurts you too much.
My thoughts are hard to write out, or even share for that matter.
In my head it all makes sense,
but in my mouth, words refuse to form.
It's very frustrating.
& that's why I will always smile.
It's just a whole lot easier than explaining
everything or anything at all.
I don't give second chances,
to the people who never gave me,
a second thought.
Your secrets keep you sick, your lies keep you alive.
"it's always wrong to hate,
but it's never wrong to love."
- L a d y G a g a
Sometimes being afraid can show more strength than being fearless.
-Demi Lovato
I prefer to cry alone. Pride? No. I just want to avoid the trial of people
who don’t know the reason of my tears.
You taught me how to breathe, but at the same time you taught me how to drown.
the prettiest smiles,
have the darkest secrets
the prettiest eyes,
have cried the most tears
the kindest hearts,
have felt the most pain
In our own twisted ways, we destroyed eachother.
We all carry these things inside that no one else can see, they hold us down like anchors, they drown us out to sea.
Words can make a deeper scar than silence can heal.
We were like strangers, who knew each other very well. ♕
"But she knows she has a curse on her, a curse she cannot win. For if someone gets too close to her, the pins stick farther in.
She had a way of seeing the beauty in in others, when that person couldn't see it themselves. - J.K Rowling
She looks so strong standing there, little does anyone know. She is broken inside.
I' could tell you everything and you still would never know the real me.
. forbidden in Heaven, and useless in Hell.
That's just what people do. They arrive, consume what they can, then they leave.
it sucks, you know? When everything
is doing fine,then it all crashes again. And the
worst part is, I really don't want to try and put it all back together again but, i have to.
Anyone can give up.
It's the easiest thing in the world to do.
But to hold it together when anyone would
~ understand if you fell apart ~
That's true strength.
Were not perfect. any of us.
we make mistakes
we screw up.
but then we forgive
and move forward
-the last song
This is the story of a broken little child.
She tried to stay strong, but the pain was too wild.
A smile, so lovely, you wouldn't believe it was fake.
The pressure to be perfect was just too much to take.
Behind her happy act, she was so deeply sad.
She held onto hope with everything that she had.
Her skin was covered in thick lines of red.
The only way out was to just drop dead.
She was finally noticed,
but only after she was gone.
The world should have seen it coming.
She was crying for help all along.
The end.
Cause I am barely breathing, And I can't find the air. Don't know who I'm kidding,
Imagining you care.
Appreciate who you have now.
No one sticks around forever.
Suicide.
Why is it that the word itself grabs
your attention immediately, but
the actions leading up to it
go completely unnoticed?
Even you can't save
me from myself.
Have you ever just cried?
Just break down and you cant stop?
You're hands start shaking.
You're stomach starts to knot up.
Then you think of something worse and
You cry even harder.?
You cry yourself to sleep?
Have you ever felt like you can't do it?
Felt like you're worthless.?
Felt like if you disappeared, nobody would care?
Felt like you will never be good enough.
Have you ever just gave up?
You just stopped caring?
You stopped waking up early to get ready?
You stopped trying to impress him?
You stopped worrying about everything
Because you gave up on everybody&everything
You ask yourself every single day
"Why am I still here?"
When you smile,even when you laugh
I can see it in your eyes. Deep inside, you wanna to cry
I just want to thank you
From the bottom of my heart for all the sleepless nights
And for tearing me apart.
You've been hurt before I can see it in your eyes, you try to smile it away, somethings you can't disguise.
Sometimes, the girl who's been there for everybody needs someone to be there for her
Expectations lead to disappointments.
Life Asked Death,
"Why do people love me but hate you?"
Death Responded,
"Because you are a beautiful lie and I am a painful truth."
Telling people you're tired, when really you're just sad.
Smiles are like band-aids;
They cover up the pain,
But it still hurts.
We all have secrets
A teardrop is insignificant
In a pool of water, but can truly touch the
soul as it runs down somebody's face.
Deep in my heart I'm concealing things
that I'm longing to say, scared to
confess
I'll smile to the sky
As I slowly die
Watching your face
As you realize I lied
it's like screaming, and no one can hear.
you almost feel ashmamed. that someone could be that important, that without them, you feel like nothing. no one
will ever understand how much it hurts. you feel hopeless. like nothing can save you. and when it's over, and it's gone.
Everyone has a story,
whether we whisper or yell.
Its all going to end, one day. Maybe tomorrow, for some. Maybe in 34 years, for others. Maybe it'll be someone elses fault, maybe it'll be done by you.
Being lied to hurts, but knowing you're not worth the truth, hurts more.
see that girl always reading
she's not antisocial, she's just escaping the world where she's hurt day after day.
No one will ever know the whole story,
because, no matter what you say,
or how much you explain, it's impossible
to make them feel exactly as you did
Guess you really did it this time,
Left yourself in your warpath
Lost your balance on a
tightrope,
Lost your mind, trying to get it back
It's more than an addiction,
It's a cry for help .
Life is a gamble based on chances,
you win some you loose some but in the end you always end up broke.
People say that ending your own life is cowardly
hey, you know what? it isn't.. you know what is
cowardly? making someone so utterly m i s e r a b l e that they feel they have to to escape
it. end their own life THAT is being a coward.
Whoever said "words will never hurt me"You're right. Words kill instead
It's funny how
—›› enemies seem to stick around longer than friends..
you don't understand
how it feels to be alone,
til everyone leaves you.
you don't understand
how it feels to be worthless,
until someone has torn you down.
you don't understand
how it feels to wanna disappear,
until you've lost all hope.
you don't understand
the meaning behind cutting
until it's an addiction.
so don't sit there and tell me
that you understand
until you feel all of those.
Emotionally: I'm done.
Mentally: I'm drained.
Spiritually: I'm dead.
Physically: I smile.
they'll hate you if you're pretty,
they'll hate you if you're not.
they'll hate you for what you lack,
and they'll hate you for what you got.
THE SKY ISN'T ALWAYS BLUE,
The sun doesn't always shine.
and its okay to fall apart sometimes.
The pressure became
too much to handle.
You know that thread
I was barely holding
on to? Well, it snapped.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Just close your eyes,
the sun is going down
You'll be alright,
no one can hurt you now
Come morning light,
you and I'll be
safe and sound.
i'll be okay
j u s t n o t t o d a y
She's the type of girl that can be so hurt but can still look at you and smile.The type of girl that is willing to brighten your day even if she can't brighten her own.
Death's hand is knocking on the door, and it's time to let him in.
Say a prayer to God for me,
because only my sins are remembered.
I guess you helped me in a way,
But you hurt me alot more.
Happy Endings
Are just stories that haven't ended yet.
I hate the feeling when you know you’re going to cry. Your lips quiver, your heart pounds, your eyes sting. Your face clenches up, and then the tears start to fall. You can’t stop them, no matter how hard you try. And it’s not little tears that slide down your cheeks, it’s big tears that make your eyes red and puffy, your face tear-stained and your body heave. You can’t stop the tears, and as you lie on your bed alone, you think of what could you have possibly done to stop the pain. Stop the suffering. Stop this, stop what you’re going through. But there’s nothing you can do, nothing anyone can say. It’s the kind of tears and pain that need to be cried out, not talked out. And you know that you’re hurting people you love, but you can’t help it. And sometimes, you just don’t care. I know how you feel. Believe me. .
I tried to d r o w n my own sorrows, Instead their d r o w n i n g me
Healthy alternatives aren't nearly as satisfying and addictive as the s e l f - d e s t r u c t i v e habits are.
Am I alive or just breathing?
This world is dead to me.
A grave without a name is where you'll find me. .
Those days where everything is going wrong and you feel like curling up and d.y.i.n.g. The second you get home you run up to your room and break down sobbing. Yeah, just another one of those days
One of these days, I'll have the courage to press down far enough.
Then I'll be done. Gone. Forever
i'm the type of girl
who can have tears streaming down my face,&still say "everythings fine."
stop telling me to be happy,
because the pressure is making it harder.
Out of everyone, I thought you understood.
But know its like, everythings going in one ear & coming out the other.
And this is who I am when I do not know myself anymore.
And this is how I break apart, when I finally hit the ground.
And this is how it hurts when, I pretend I don't feel any pain.
And this is how I disappear when I throw myself away.
Behind every smiling face, is a tear just threatening to fall.
I am the cleanest I have ever been.
Why? I am getting rid of all that contaminated b l o o d. Drip.
Drop. Drip. Drop. Letting all the lies, tears, pain, emotions,
bad thoughts, everything, just fall away. Leaving me numb.
No thoughts. No pain. No emotions. Perfect. Exactly how
it should be.
Why am I searching for perfection knowing it's something I won't find?
we face 1000 ways to die everyday
but somehow we manage to survive.
Tell me what your worst fears are. I bet they look a lot like mine.
Tell me what you think about when you can't fall asleep at night.
Tell me that you're struggling.
Tell me that you're scared.
Tell me that you're terrified.
Tell me how you lost.
Tell me how he left.
Tell me how she left.
Tell me how you lost everything that you had.
Tell me that it ain't ever coming back.
Tell me that it's all of the above.
Say you think of everything in fear.
it's the kind of tired that sleep can't fix
Maybe I'll end up alright,
Just let me fall apart tonight.
Sometimes, it's not about
forcing your happiness.
It's about not letting
the sadness win.
you let people in and they destroy you.
You sit in your room crying,
wondering why people don't see it.
Why people can't tell that it's all an act.
How insecure you really are,
the lack of confidence.
It's written all over your face.
You can't hide what it's doing to you.
But you're content with keeping your secrets,
because you think they're helping you.
You know it's hurting you,
but it's worth it.
You know not to tell anyone though,
they won't understand.
Hell,
you don't even understand.
Scars are tattoos with better stories
No one really knows anybody, until they understand why that person cries. Because once they realizes theyre pain,they'll begin to realize a lot of other things that make up that persons life and day.
Sometimes we feel lonely when no one is around or notices us. Sometimes we feel lonely surrounded by people.
If I let you in, you'd just want out.
If I tell you the truth, you'd vie for a lie.
If I spilt my guts, it would make a mess we can't clean up.
If you follow me, you will only get lost.
If you try to get closer, we'll only lose touch.
I notice everything
[ i just don't say anything ]
unfortunately, our society sends a huge
message. unless you are g o o d l o o k i n g, you don't matter as much.
welcome to a world
where people
talk about eachother
and everyone lies
and everyone tries to be
something they aren't
Nobody can keep a secret
and friendships that can last forever
are broken.
thomas eddison's last words
were: "It's very beautiful over there,"
I don't know where there is.
but I believe it's somewhere,
and I hope that it's beautiful
"The funny this is, nobody ever really know what how much anybody else is hurting. We could be standing next to somebody who is completely broken and we wouldn't even know it."
Maybe the reason why she
Is so obsessed with fictional series.
Can be explained simply by saying,
she needs to have an escape from the
cruel world we call reality.
She needs a way to avoid that unstable, univable swift in society.
Ever think of that?
it's so easy to fill yourself with hate.
They promised
That dreams can come true.
But they forgot to mention that
n i g h t m a r e s are dreams, too.
We spend too much time wondering
why we're not good enough
but not enough time listening to
the reasons why we are.
It started out of curiosity,
and it will end as an addiction.
C e r t a i n people are here
t o m a k e a n i m p a c t .
They teach you things you never even thought of learning.
Your intire view on life is different, because of them.
They inspire you, and touch your heart in a way
that you never even thought was possible.
They teach you many lessons, and they
change the way you see things.
Their goal is to make sure
that you are happy,
even if they're
not.
Cherish these people while you can.
Big hearted people never last long.
Everyone has their own story.
A reason they are the way they are.
You have no right to judge someone you don't know.
For all you know, today they could be their last day alive.
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it's stupid.
Tears, misery, lonliness, tears, scars, and pain.
All hidden behind a simple "I'm fine."
your friends are always telling you
that they'll always be there for you.
but when you're screaming your lungs
out for help,
suddenly,
every one of them is deaf.
You can ask me a million questions.
I can give you a million answers.
But the thing is,
you still won't get it.
You just won't understand
until you've felt it for yourself.
I can see you're sad
even when you smile,
even when you laugh
I can see it in your eyes
deep inside you wanna cry.
They never see the signs
until it's too late.
Alone at night
Her heart rapidly beats
One final fight
As a nightmare and reality meet.
Every night they come back
The dreadful dreams of darkness
And every time they hit her with a wack
Every one filled with horrific sadness
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