Bethany, I'm sorry. I've been a selfish idiot. But I miss you, so much. I know you'd want me to be happy, to celebrate the fact that you really lived, even if it was only for 13 years... But it's nearly impossible. Every time I'm in a good mood, I suddenly think "How can you be happy? Your best friend is gone. You'll never see her amazing smile or hear her laugh again. She's gone."
I hate it. I hate cancer.
I love you.
Recovering.
James | 14 | East London
One year
today.
On the 28th of February
2011, I lost my best friend to cancer.
She was only 13 years old.
I can't believe it's only been one year... It feels like
so much longer.
For the past 12 months, I've been feeling so...
empty.
I miss her so much... She was too young today.
28th February, 2011. I will never forget that day.
Rest In Peace, Bethany.
I love you.
- James
I've seen people
here
making
'Fave
this and I'll rate you out of 10' quotes, and they rate
others 2.
TWO. Do you actually know how that can hurt people? Do you know
how much it can lower a girl's self-esteem? Do you know how
insecure it can make them feel?
I know this sounds really cheesy and everything, but if I ever
made one of those quotes, I would give everyone 10. You all
deserve
it.
This time 1 month
ago,
I
would have just been sitting on my bed, staring at the
wall, wishing that I could see
her again. I would have refused to be happy, and
every time I was in a good mood I
would suddenly think "James, how can you be
happy? Your best friend, the person
who you loved the most, the one person who really
understood you... She's
gone.
You'll never see her beautiful smile or hear her laugh
again. She's gone."
& Now? Now I'm going to stop being a selfish
idiot. She would have wanted me to be
happy, she always hated me being sad. Truth is,
when I started school, I was blind.
I was always laughed at for being blind, and Bethany was
the only one who didn't make
fun of me at some stage. Since then, I recovered from
my blindness (don't ask how.)
and Bethany was still my best friend. I made more
friends, but Bethany was always
the closest. I really loved her. Like I said,
she always hated me being sad, and since
she died in front of me on that day - February 28th, 2011 -
I've been more than sad.
I've been suicidal. But there's no more of
that now. I'm not going to die for her,
I'm
going to live for her. It's what she
wants. I'm going to smile as often as I can, and
I'm
going to celebrate the fact that she really lived, even if it was
only for 13
years.
I'm on the road to
recovery.
I love you,
Bethany.
Rest in
Peace.
[♥][♥][♥]