Jasminekaybutterfly

Status:
Joined: June 14, 2011
Last Seen: 1 decade
Birthday: March 19
user id: 183087
Location: Maine
Gender: F

I'm Jasmine, I was born on March 19th, 1997. I have been through so much. People don't realize how fragile I am. I cry so easily. But I don't choose to be that way. I have a lot of anger and pain inside of me, that no amount of time will make go away. It will always be there. On August 16th 2010 I was . I spent the first year after that not eating, cutting, smoking, drinking. Anything to kill the pain and make me forget. I had to deal with it all on my own. I had no help. Then I told my therapist who told my mom. And for the past year I have been fighting for justice. It hasn't been easy. I have tried to kill myself 12 times. My dad is an alcoholic that doesn't care about me, my siblings, or mom. I have been put through the ringer. Lets just say that. But people forget, and they think I am fine. But I'm not. I'm pretty miserable on the inside. But I've learned no one likes a sad girl. So I try to hide it all. 

But I do have an amazingly perfect boyfriend who makes it easier. We've been dating since 3/3/12. He's my best friend and boyfriend and I don't know where I'd be without him. He gives my life a meaning, and makes me feel special. He tells me that I'm beautiful, even though he knows what I think about myself. He seems to always know how to make me smile. I love him so much, and I will marry this boy someday. People spend their whole lives searching for a love like this. And I was lucky enough to find it early. He'll always be my boy, Through tuff, hard, and hell. Forever and always.


Quotes by Jasminekaybutterfly

She's feeling it all now,
But she doesn't cry.
She doesn't cry.
Today my 4 year old brother said
"I don't have a daddy anymore.
He left,
He's gone."
He also refuses to talk to him.
Its pretty sad when I walk into the kitchen,
And my 6 year old brother is looking at a soda bottle,
And when I ask him what he's doing he tells me;
"Looking to see how many calories there are.
I don't want to get fat."
I then took the bottle from him and said
"It doesn't matter Ryan.
Your way to skinny as it is,
And your a kid.
Enjoy it while you can."
7 months,
214 days,
5,136 hours,
308,160 minutes.
Thats how long i've been with you.
These past 7 months have been the best 7 months of my life.
I wouldn't trade it for the world.
I cant wait to spend many more years, months, days, hours, and minutes right by your side.
I love you,
Through tuff, hard, and hell,
Forever and always.

*3.3.12*
tell my love to wreck it all.
cut out all the ropes,
and let me fall.
I never use to be able to cry in the shower.
Im just a shell of who I use to be.
I cant stop crying.
If you dont love me,
Then break up with me.
My dad left yesterday.
He was standing outside crying when me and one of my brothers came home.
He made us feel so bad.
It was such a shock.
But now I dont really care that he's gone.
But my mom hasn't stopped crying.
Thats whats getting to me.
He left us with nothing.
We have no money,
And we will run out of food in the next few days.
I feel so bad for my mom.
I feel bad for my 7 year old brother that my dad didn't even say goodbye to,
He keeps asking when he's coming home.
I don't understand how he could just walk out on us,
And not even try to fix things,
Or even stay in the area.
No he went to florida,
As if it were a vacation.

Why does everyone look so damn perfect?
It’s photoshop,
Airbrush merges.
I feel like I’m growing.
I still hurt but the pains not showing.
I haven’t cut for a month or two.
I try deep breathing and squeezing ice cubes.
My boyfriend loves me and tells me I’m beautiful.
I’m ashamed of what I used to do.
I try everyday just to keep getting better,
To block out the thoughts,
But I’m under the weather.
The pressure is building,
I need a release.
I’m out of my depth,
And I’m feeling weak.
I’m sick of this pain and I want it to end.
My oldest enemy and my only friend.
A blade in my hand and my life in front of me. 
I’m stranded between relapse and recovery.

I bleed- Outcast Youth

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