I can't stress enough.
about how much I genuinely hate myself right now. Like seriously,
right now at this moment in time, I am my biggest enemy. Its like
everything I do is wrong and no matter how hard I try I can't
change that. One of my biggest problems is my weight, it truly
disgusts me. Right now I'm a dress size 14 (UK), but I'd do
anything to change that to something smaller. It doesn't matter
how hard I train, it's never paid off, what am I supposed to do?
The flat stomach, the thigh gap, all the rest of it, you don't
realise how much I dream of that. Also, I swear I'm unloved. I
mean yes I have friends, good friends, amazing friends, but
nobody loves me. Nobody tells me I look stunning, nobody talks to
me just because they can. Nobody arranges to hang out with me.
Nobody makes time for me. I'm not anybody's someone. I really
want to be. I get bullied around the school premises, wherever I
go someone can find something to say. The other day I got
physically push into a wooden fence and it hurt like hell but not
one person stopped to see if I was ok. What am I meant to do to
feel better? How am I supposed to make him mine? How can I make
him see what he means to me? How can I prove to my 'friends' that
I'm not weak and that I am worth their time? Or am I
not?
xxcorinne95xx format*